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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #265: Wonder Cough
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘The Lie of the Land’ and ‘Empress of Mars’, discuss the 2017 film ‘Wonder Woman’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #193: Doctor Who – Smile
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jun 2017 08:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, emojied, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Smile’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is interfering with a new species, Bill has a decision to make and the Vardy just want everybody to be happy. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #264: Stimulated Reality
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 03 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steve Brittain review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Extemis’ and ‘The Pyramid at the End of the World’, discuss the Big Finish boxset ‘Charlotte Pollard, Series Two’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #192: Babylon 5 – Between the Darkness and the Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 May 2017 08:33

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, sprung, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 episode Between the Darkness and the Light, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan is sporting a fetching head band, Garibaldi is looking for mercy and Ivanova is feeling crushed. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #263: Musical Helmets
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 20 May 2017 14:03

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Knock Knock’ and ‘Oxygen’, tell of their recent visit to the Doctor Who studios in Cardiff and the Capitol 2 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #191: Doctor Who – The Pilot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 May 2017 09:46

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, puddled, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 premiere episode, ‘The Pilot’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is a lecturing security guard, Bill is fattening up the locals and Heather has a very moist fixation. But enough of their problems, please […]

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Rogue Warriors

Rogue Warriors:
Season One, Episode Nine

By Andy Dunn


Zeus arrived back at Heathrow Airport with the Queen. The American soldiers took her to a jail cell near the security line of the airport and lock her in. Zeus approached her with a piece of paper and a pen.

“Now listen up, woman” he stated angrily “this list will forcefully remove you from the throne and claims of the entire royal family including other relatives. The power of the throne will then belong to me. Sign it!”

The Queen took one look at the list.

“Never!” she said.

Zeus got angry.

“I will not ask again. Sign it!” he said angrily.

The Queen did nothing.

“Alright. Have it your way!” said Zeus angrily.

He then grabbed a gun from the table. An American soldier stopped him from firing.

“What’s the matter with you, soldier?!” shouted Zeus.

“If you kill her, then you won’t be able to be king” explained the soldier “you need her to sign the list first”.

“But of course” said Zeus “I almost forgot”.

He once again approached the Queen.

“You can take as long as you want, Your Highness,” said Zeus “soon the suffering of your people will help you change your mind”.

He then laughed as he left the airport.

*

Back at the emergency bunker, the Prime Minister, Ben, George Simon and Alison could see what was going on through the surveillance screens.

“Oh my god!” said the Prime Minister “The Queen is being held hostage at Heathrow Airport”.

“Are the Rogue Warriors alright?” asked Alison.

“No” said Simon “they’re tied up at Buckingham palace”.

“What are we gonna do?” asked Ben.

“Don’t worry, I’m ordering most of the army to Heathrow Airport to rescue the Queen” said the Prime Minister.

“What about the Rogue Warriors?” asked George.

“Once they wake up, they’ll be fine getting out and helping the troops” said the Prime Minister.

Simon then saw an American soldier had set fire to Buckingham palace on the monitor.

“Charles and the others are in danger!” he shouted.

“What do you mean?” asked Alison.

“Buckingham palace is on fire,” said Simon.

The others gasped.

“What are we gonna do?” asked Ben.

“Get me a car, sir” said Simon “I’m gonna rescue them”.

“Simon, no!” shouted George “Its too dangerous”.

“You’re not going out there by yourself,” said the Prime Minister.

“Well, get me a couple of soldiers to escort me then. I don’t care,” said Simon.

Simon exited the bunker and got inside an army van with two soldiers. They drove off to Buckingham Palace.

*

Inside the burning palace, the Rogue Warriors woke up from their slumber.

“What’s that smell?” asked Vicky all groggy.

“AH! Fire!” shouted Chucky.

“We’re tied together!” shouted Charles.

“What are we going to do?” asked Helen.

“We’re doomed!” said Dave.

Just then, Simon and two British soldiers burst through the burning door.

“Simon!” said the Rogue Warriors.

“Hang on, guys!” said Simon.

One Soldier tried to clear the exit while Simon and the other soldier attempted to free the Rogue Warriors as they cut the ropes.

“Hurry up!” shouted Vicky.

“We’re trying the best we can!” said Simon.

The ropes were now cut and they all ran out of the burning building. Fire fighters attempted to put out the fire while Simon and the Rogue warriors caught their breaths.

“Hey, Thanks for rescuing us, buddy” said Charles.

“No problem, Charles” said Simon.

“Thank you, thank you,” said Helen as she and Vicky hugged Simon.

“Whoa! No problem, girls” said Simon.

“How did you know the palace was on fire?” asked Chucky.

“Through surveillance in the Prime Ministers’ emergency bunker” said Simon.

“Is he ok?” asked Dave.

“Yep. George, Alison and Ben are there too” said Simon.

“I wonder where Zeus took the Queen,” said Vicky.

“He took her to Heathrow Airport and is holding her hostage” said Simon.

“What!” shouted Dave “We’ve gotta get there now!

“No problem” said Simon “hop on the van and we’ll all get there quickly”.

They all hopped in and drove towards the airport.

*

Simon and the Rogue Warriors stopped just outside of the airport. A big battle between British and American soldiers was occurring inside.

“I’m scared,” said Helen.

“Don’t worry, Helen,” said Vicky “We’ll be right here to protect you”.

“How many American soldiers do you think are in there?” asked Chucky.

“I don’t know. Hundreds. Maybe a thousand” said a British soldier.

“Well, lets just hope that we don’t encounter a lot of them while we’re rescuing the Queen” said Charles.

“And if we do, I’m gonna tear them apart with my own four hands!” shouted Dave.

“Lets just hope it doesn’t come to that,” said Simon.

“Wait! Before you all going” says a British soldier “Take these”.

He handed them all machine guns.

“Cool!” said Dave.

“Now’s not the time to pose, Dave” said Vicky.

“I only said cool,” said Dave.

“To you, that’s posing,” said Vicky.

Dave then frowned at Vicky.

“Come on guys, lets go in” said Charles.

“I’ll wait here and direct the reinforcements to your location,” said the British soldier.

Simon and the Rogue Warriors headed inside the airport.

*

Zeus was by the Queen’s jail cell.

“Ok, Queeny. You are starting to try my patients” he said “sign the form now!”.

“Humph! Never!” said the Queen.

“Very well. You leave me no choice,” said Zeus.

He then grabbed one of the hostages and put him in front of the jail cell and put a gun by his head.

“Sign the form!” ordered Zeus “Or I’ll blow his brains out”.

The Queen was then stunned for words.

“Don’t do, Your Majesty,” said the hostage fearfully “forgive me”.

The Queen looked into the hostage eyes.

“SIGN IT!!” yelled Zeus.

The Queen then shed a tear.

“No!” she said.

Zeus then blew the hostage’s brains out. He then sighed.

“Fine” said Zeus “You can just sit there and watch your people die. One by one”.

Then an explosion occurred at the door. The Rogue Warriors emerged from the smoke with Simon and a few British soldiers. They all started to fire at the American soldiers.

“SAVE THE QUEEN!!” yelled Charles.

In the middle of the fighting, Simon and the Rogue Warriors headed for the Queen’s jail cell.

“Don’t worry, Your Highness. We’ll get you out of here” said Helen.

“We just need to find the key,” said Simon “where is it?”.

“He has it,” said the Queen as she pointed at Zeus who was behind them.

They all turned to face him and he knocked them all out.

*

Simon and the Rogue Warriors awoke from their slumber. They were in another jail cell.

“Well, well. It seems that your little rescue operation didn’t go as planned, did it?” asked Zeus.

“You’ll be sorry, Professor” said Dave “When the reinforcements arrive, you’ll wish that you were never born”.

“Oh, I think not, Dave” stated Zeus “for you see, my lieutenants have informed me that they have taken control of most of London. Only a small pocket of resistance protects the Prime Minister. Once I have him, then I’ll have conquered the entire city”.

The Rogue Warriors then got angry.

“YOU BETTER RELEASE US NOW OR I’LL…!” yelled Simon.

“Do you look like you’re in the position to make orders?” asked Zeus.

Simon then glared at Zeus.

“Sir, a plane is requesting to land,” said an American soldier “they say the Vice President is requesting to speak to you”.

“The Vice President?” asked Zeus.

“Yes, sir” said the soldier.

“Very well, let him land and bring him to me” said Zeus.

A few minutes later, the Vice President entered the room.

“Welcome mister Vice President,” said Zeus “How’s the President?”.

“Don’t worry, he’s fine” said the Vice President.

“Oh good” said Zeus “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but why isn’t he here along with you?”.

“Because he has been arrested for crime against humanity and has been sentenced to a maximum security prison for life” stated the Vice President.

“WHAT?!” yelled Zeus.

“The U.N. are aware of the President’s plans with you and has forcefully removed him from office, and put me in charge for the time being” stated the Vice President.

“But, they can’t do that!” said Zeus.

“Oh, they can, Professor. And they did 24 hours ago” stated the Vice President.

“Well then, what are you doing here?” asked Zeus.

“I’m here to recall the troops away from this pointless conflict,” said the Vice President “General, recall the troops”.

“Yes, sir” said the general.

“Not so fast!” said Zeus “These troops follow my orders. I say we are not stopping until England is ours. Soldiers, kill the Vice President!”.

The American soldiers didn't do anything. They continued to recall each other from London.

“I SAID KILL HIM!!” yelled Zeus.

“They won’t listen to you, Professor” stated the Vice President “Private, release the Queen and the Rogue Warriors”.

“Yes, Sir” said the soldier.

The Queen and the Rogue Warriors were released. The Vice President approached the Queen.

“On behalf of all of America, I sincerely apologise,” apologised the Vice President “We’ll pay for all of the damages done to your city, Your Highness”.

The Queen then smiled.

“Apology accepted, Vice President. Now arrest that mad man!” she said as she pointed to Zeus.

The American soldiers then attacked Zeus and took him to custody.

*

The Queen and The Rogue Warriors were at the houses of parliament with the Prime Minister and the Vice President. The Queen knighted the Rogue Warriors and Simon.

“So, the U.N. got my message?” asked The Prime Minister.

“Yes,” said the Vice President “They were aware that the President was acting strangely, but they didn’t have enough proof”.

“Until I contacted them” said the Prime Minister “but what took them so long to arrest him?”.

“There was communication problems due to weather conditions” explained the Vice President “but when they received the message, the President already launched the troops”.

“Well I’m glad that it’s all over,” said the Prime Minister.

Simon and the Rogue Warriors approached them.

“Hey, congratulations, guys. You saved England,” said the Prime Minister.

“Hey, no problem. It’s what we do,” said Dave.

“Please don’t make it happen again, mister Vice President” said Helen.

“Don’t worry, I promise that this won’t happen again” said the Vice President.

“So, what happened to Zeus?” asked Simon.

“He has been sentenced to a maximum security prison for life,” said the Prime Minister.

“So, does that mean, we don’t have to fight him anymore?” asked Vicky.

“Nope. There is no chance of him ever getting out?” said the Prime Minister.

“At last we can finally relax,” said Chucky.

“Indeed you can,” said the Prime Minister.

“It’s gonna feel good living here without having to worry about anything” said Charles.

***

Season One, Episode Ten.