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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #263: Musical Helmets
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 20 May 2017 14:03

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Knock Knock’ and ‘Oxygen’, tell of their recent visit to the Doctor Who studios in Cardiff and the Capitol 2 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #191: Doctor Who – The Pilot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 May 2017 09:46

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, puddled, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 premiere episode, ‘The Pilot’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is a lecturing security guard, Bill is fattening up the locals and Heather has a very moist fixation. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #262: We Are Pete
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 06 May 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Smile’ and ‘Thin Ice’, and the 2017 film ‘Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2’, find some general news, play a game and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:12 — Welcome! 01:39 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #190: Babylon 5 – Intersections in Real Time
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 30 Apr 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, interrogated, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 episode Intersections in Real Time, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan is feeling strapped in, William is just doing his job and, well, that’s pretty much everyone. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #261: Of Companions and Pilots
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 22 Apr 2017 17:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Jean Riddler, Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episode ‘The Pilot’ and discuss what makes a Doctor Who companion, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 02:29 — Welcome! 02:21 – News: 02:36 — Star Trek: Discovery narrowly avoids Worf. 04:41 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #260: Masterfully Unbound
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 09 Apr 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2016 Big Finish Doctor Who boxset ‘The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield, Vol. 3 – The Unbound Universe’ and discuss Doctor Who’s The Master in general, play a game, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]

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Rogue Warriors

Rogue Warriors:
Season One, Episode One

By Andy Dunn


There was nothing in the starry sky that night to suggest that strange things would soon happen.

As the moonlight reflected off the lake and a fishermen waited for his first catch of the day, sirens started to sound. A factory suddenly lit up whilst soldiers and defensive turrets took their marks and waited to see what was coming.

As the guards took their positions, the tension and anxiety from within them grew.

“Do you think they’re out there?” asked one of the soldiers,

“The scanners reported incoming intruders. It must be them,” said another.

“BE QUIET” shouted their general “Keep on your guard”.

Suddenly, from a distance, a bomb was launched and ignited on impact around the soldiers. As it exploded, it released a gas that knocked all the soldiers out-cold.

Bazookas were fired at the turrets, which destroyed them completely. As the gas faded away, it revealed the person who fired them.

It was a humanoid boy in his teens, he was wearing a red overall uniform, he had three arms (two each side, one on his back) and two legs, he had frizzy hair and he had a snake-like tongue.

As this boy walked onwards into the factory, he looked back at the knocked-out soldiers and said “Huh! That was too easy”.

Suddenly, an aircraft closed in and opened fire on this boy. He quickly jumped out of the way and prepared to launch another bazooka shot at the aircraft, but to no avail.

As the aircraft closed in, it exploded before it could open fire and from behind, came another aircraft.

This aircraft landed in front of the boy and two more humanoids jumped out to greet him. He was happy to see them because they were his colleagues.

One of them stepped up and said, “Are you ok, Charles?”

This humanoid was another boy in his early teens, he was wearing a black overall uniform, he had two arms and two legs, he had wings on his back and he had cat-like ears and spiky hair.

“I’m fine, Chucky” said Charles with a sigh of relief, “and thanks for the help.”

The other newcomer gave Charles a big hug and said “I’m glad your safe.”

This humanoid was a girl in her teens, a bit younger than Charles, she was wearing a pink overall uniform. She had three legs and two arms, she had one eyeball, long-straight hair which passed down to her shoulders and she had a bow-tie on her head.

As this girl finished hugging Charles, she said, “You know how much I worry when you battle on your own”

Charles looked into this girl’s eye and said, “Don’t worry about me Vicky. As long I know you are safe, you have nothing to worry about”

Vicky’s eye welled up with love. As she was about to kiss Charles, he suddenly turned to Chucky and said, “Well, lets go into the factory and rescue Helen, ol’ buddy, times a wasting!”

As Charles walked into the factory, Chucky looked back at Vicky who looked slightly surprised

“That bloody tease!” she growled.

Chucky started to chuckle as they entered the factory.

As Vicky and Chucky caught up, Charles turned towards them and asked “Is Dave on his way?”

“Yeah, he’s just getting his gear,” said Chucky.

Vicky said “Dave’s tough enough as he is. He only uses his weapons just to show off”

Suddenly, an explosion tore through a corridor near their location.

A fourth humanoid appeared from the explosion.

It was another boy in his teens, he was wearing a blue overall uniform, he had two legs and four arms (two each side, one on his chest and on his back), he had lots of upper-body strength and he had curly hair and a snake-like tongue.

As he walked up to the others, he looked at Vicky and said “I heard what you said just now, Vicky”

She then stepped back and said, “Enough with the dramatic entrances, Dave, you know that freaks me out!”

Dave smirked and said, “let’s get to work gang”

He picked up his gear and headed off down the corridor, the others followed him.

The command centre of the factory looked hi-tech in every way. In the middle of the room, there was a computer system and around the room were smaller computers and gadgets. At one end of the room was a jail cell and inside it was a humanoid girl who looked around 8 to 10 years old. She was sound asleep. She was wearing a green overall uniform, had two arms and legs, cat whiskers and curly hair that passed down to her shoulders.

She began to wake up.

“Where am I?”

Another humanoid entered the room. He was an adult male, He was wearing a scientific lab coat, the usual two arms and legs, he was bald but had medium sized horns on his head and he had three eyeballs on his face.

“So Helen, your finally awake” he smirked.

“Professor Zeus, I should’ve known it was you,” said Helen

“Pretty smart, for a small girl!” said Zeus

“I’m no small girl!” Snapped Helen “Once Charles and the others realised what happened to me, then you’ll be sorry”

“Ha! They'd better think twice once they see what I’m about to do.”

“What do you mean?” asked Helen

As Zeus walked up to his high tech computer, he said, “you’ll find out sooner or later”

Suddenly the door exploded inwards and there stood Charles, Chucky, Vicky and Dave.

“Listen, Prof, don’t you have anything better to do than to kidnap a girl?” said Charles cheekily.

“You didn’t expect us to rescue her, did you?” said Vicky

“On the contrary fools, I was counting on it,” replied Zeus.

“What do you mean?” asked Dave

“Thanks to my new invention,” said Zeus “I am able to transport anything I want to anywhere in the galaxy”

“You’re bluffing,” said Dave

“I can assure you I’m not” said Zeus “I’ve already set the targets to all the life forms in this room - except me of course”

“But that’s not possible” said Chucky “The energy requirements would have to be tremendous”

“Do you want to put it to the test guys?” said Zeus with an evil grin on his face.

As he picked up a remote, he said, “I just need to press this button and you’ll all be in different corners of the galaxy”

Dave snatched up his handgun and shot the remote out of Zeus’s hand.

“GUARDS, KILL THEM!” shouted the Professor.

A gaggle of bodyguards entered the room and started to attack the group.

Dave tried to fight the guards whilst Charles and Chucky got their guns and started to shoot them. Vicky attempted to free Helen, finally blowing open the lock.

Zeus cowered to the floor and then saw the remote.

He picked it up and was about to press the button.

As Charles saw this, he tried to stop him and threw him into the computer bank.

The monitor flickered to life: “COORDINATES CHANGED. NEW LOCATION: EARTH”

Zeus didn't notice the change and punched Charles.

He picked up the remote and shouted out “HA, GOODBYE FOOLS!!!”

Everyone looked at Professor Zeus and gasped as he pressed the button.

A bright light filled the room and everyone in the command centre, including Zeus, vanished into thin air.

***

Charles was lying on the floor in darkness. He woke up and groaned: “Where am I? I wonder what Zeus is really up to”

As he struggled to his feet, a bright light pierced the darkness and headed towards him - fast.

Charles turned to look but was blinded by the light, he quickly jumped out of the way.

Other lights started to approach him but they all stopped in front of him and started to make beeping noises.

Charles’s sight started to improve and he finally saw what is around him. He was in the middle of a street and was surrounded by cars, vans and other vehicles.

“What the hell!?” said Charles with a shocked look on his face.

People started to gather round to see what was going on.

“What the hell is that thing?” asked one of the people.

Two policemen appeared and stared at him.

“Shall we try to capture it?” asked one of the policemen.

“Lets go in slowly,” said the other policeman “we don’t want to provoke it”

One of the policemen slowly went up to Charles and said “Come on little fella, no-one’s gonna hurt you”

Charles frowned, “Do you think I’m a baby or something?”

The policeman suddenly fell backwards in shock.

“Y-you can talk?!” asked the policeman

“Of coarse I can,” said Charles “I’m surprised that you can talk”

As Charles began to walk off, the other policeman grabbed his gun and shouted, “FREEZE!!!”

Charles stopped and threw a smoke bomb on the floor.

Smoke billowed out, blanketing the area.

As it faded away, the two policemen searched the area for Charles.

“Bugger! It vanished,” yelled one of the policemen

The other policeman got on his radio.

“PC 13 calling all units, an unknown creature is roaming through the streets of London, it is dressed in red clothing and it has three arms, I repeat that, three arms, suspect is possibly armed and dangerous, requesting back-up!”

***

Charles was hiding on top of a bus as it moved through the streets of London.

“I wonder where the others are” he thought “and if we can get out of here”

A helicopter buzzed close to Charles.

A policeman leaned out the door and said “Listen to me, we don’t won’t to hurt you. We just want to help”

Charles pulled the policeman out of the helicopter and climbed inside.

The pilot, in panic, steered the helicopter around in circles.

Charles tried to grab hold of the controls but the two ended up struggling until the helicopter was hovvering dangerously over Hyde Park.

A man in his late teens was wandering around the lake by himself. He heard the sound of a helicopter and stopped to have a look.

Charles continued to struggle with the pilot, as they got closer to the lake.

The pilot punched Charles and knocked him out of the helicopter.

Charles fell in the lake and the startled passer-by leapt in after him. “Hang on, mate, I’m coming!”

He dived down and grabbed Charles’s arm, pulling him to safety.

Charles coughed and gasped, “Thanks mate, I thought I was a goner”

“Don’t worry about it” said the man.

As Charles was about to shake his hand, the man realised what he was looking at and freaked. “Wh-what or wh-who are you?” said the man nervously

“I’m Charles. Who or what are you?” asked Charles

“My name’s Simon and I’m a Human,” said Simon

“Do your people always try to kill every new thing it sees?” asked Charles

“Well you see…” said Simon “Humans don’t generally see, well, aliens very often. So it’ll be hard to accept that there are people like you roaming our streets until they get to know it.”

“So they try to kill me instead of getting to know me?” asked Charles

“They do that because they think that you’ll kill us,” said Simon

“I have no intention of killing your kind,” said Charles

Suddenly other people began to emerge from the bushes. It was Chucky, Vicky, Dave and Helen.

“Charles, You ok?!” said Vicky as she rushed to hug him

Dave marched towards Simon, “GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU FREAK!!!”

Charles held him back, “Don’t hurt him.”

“WHY NOT!!?” yelled Dave

“Because he saved my life,” said Charles

Vicky hugged Simon, “Oh thank you, thank you for saving my love”

Charles broke into a cold sweat at her comment, and Simon stuttered, “Y-you're welcome.”

“So who are you, mister?” asked Helen

“I’m Simon”

The group introduced themselves to Simon.

Simon asked, “So, how did you guys get here?”

“We were battling our arch-nemesis, Professor Zeus” Chucky explained “ and during the battle, he transported us across the galaxy”

“We need to find a way to get back to our planet,” said Dave

“Can you help us, Simon?” asked Vicky

“The only thing I can do for now is to take you to see the Prime Minister” said Simon

“Who’s he?” asked Helen

“The leader of my people” said Simon

Nervous and unsure what would happen to them, the group followed Simon out of the park.

***

Season One, Episode Two