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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #198: Babylon 5 – Day of the Dead
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, visited, in front of the Neil Gaiman’s Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Day of the Dead’, and spout our usual nonsense! Zooty has a terrible secret, Lennier has a shadowy visitor, Lochley is trying to establish an identity for herself and Kosh has another […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #269: Jago, Litefoot and AsBill
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn have a retrospective on Doctor Who ‘Series 10’, discuss Big Finish’s ‘Jago and Litefoot, Series 4’ audio boxset, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #197: Doctor Who – Knock Knock
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 06 Aug 2017 09:58

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, bugged, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Knock Knock’, and spout our usual nonsense! Bill has herself some new digs, the Doctor is suddenly a man with a van and the landlord has a wood infestation. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #268: Whittaker and Watling
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 30 Jul 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller discuss the casting of Jodie Whittaker as the Thirteenth Doctor, remember Deborah Watling, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:37 — Welcome! 02:07 – News: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #196: Babylon 5 – Rising Star
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 23 Jul 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, allied, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 penultimate episode Rising Star, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan has a new job offer, Garibaldi has an impromptu rescue to mount, Ivanova jumps ship and everyone is generally very busy. But enough of their […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #267: The Doctor has a Fall
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 Jul 2017 09:23

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘World Enough and Time’ and ‘The Doctor Falls’, take look back at Big Finish’s ‘Doctor Who: Spare Parts’ audio play, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 […]

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Rogue Warriors

Rogue Warriors:
Season Two, Episode Four

By Andy Dunn


The Enterprise had just passed through a small nebula. The ship was at yellow alert due to interference from the nebula.

The Rogue Warriors was on the bridge along with Cathy and Carol. They tried to get rid of the interference.

“We’ve just cleared the nebula, Charles,” said Simon.

“Good. Have we got long range sensors back yet, Chucky?” asked Charles.

“I’m still working on it, Charles,” said Chucky.

“That was some weird nebula we went through,” said Vicky.

“It looked so pretty,” said Helen.

“We’re lucky that we weren’t easy prey for the Metrolians” said Carol.

“Humph! I say they should bring it on! I want to test out the ship’s weapon systems,” said Dave with a determined look on his face.

Chucky’s station then powered up as he worked on it.

“Alright! Long range sensors are back online,” he said happily.

“Excellent. Scan the surrounding area,” ordered Charles.

Chucky initiated the scan.

“Charles, I’m detecting a battle in progress near our location” he said suddenly.

“A battle?” asked Charles.

“Yes. A battle in orbit of the fifth planet in this sector” said Chucky.

“Can you see who it is between?” asked Charles.

Chucky then continued the scan.

“I’m not sure. The ship designs do not appear known on the computer,” said Chucky.

“Put it on the view screen” said Charles.

The view screen then lowered and revealed the battle that went on.

Cathy then stepped up.

“The bigger ships are Metrolian battleships. They are attacking another alien race. We have to stop them!” she stated.

“But we don’t know how many battleships are out there, exactly” stated Simon.

“No. Cathy is right. We must hold the line between the Metrolians and the planet surface, otherwise another civilization will be lost” explained Vicky.

“Very well then. Simon, set course for that battlefield. Chucky, get the shields up. Dave, prepare to open fire on the Metrolian battleships,” ordered Charles.

“No problem” said Simon, Chucky and Dave.

The Enterprise was now on red alert, as it got closer to the battlefield.

*

As the Enterprise got closer to the battlefield, the unknown alien race was falling in numbers. Their flagship was heavily damaged.

Within the flagship, the crew was determined to fight to the death against the Metrolians.

They had a snake-like body. They had tentacles for arms. They had a big mouth with sharp teeth. They had four eyes and a hand on their foreheads.

One of them was working on their stations.

“Captain, we’re losing too many fighters on our right flank” he said.

“Very well. Begin tactical plan number four!” ordered the captain.

“But, captain. If we do initiate that, we won’t be able to save any of our fighters” protested the crewmember.

“I said do it, ensign! That’s an order!” shouted the captain.

The ensign sighed.

“Yes, sir. Initiating tac…” he said as he was interrupted.

“Captain. I’m detecting another ship entering the area” interrupted another crewmember.

“What is it, Lieutenant? Is it another Metrolian ship?” asked the captain.

The lieutenant then scanned the ship.

“Uncertain, captain. The design of the ship seems to be of an unknown origin,” he explained.

“Then it must be an alien ship,” concluded the captain.

“They are hailing us,” said the ensign.

“Put it on screen” ordered the captain.

The monitor screen opened up and Charles appeared on it.

“Greetings, alien race. I am Charles, leader of the Rogue Warriors and in command of the Enterprise. We’re are here to assist you” he stated.

The captain then looked enlightened.

“You’re here to assist us?” he asked.

“Yes. We do not want to see the Metrolian scum to take another innocent planet. Too many have fallen to them,” stated Charles.

“Your assistance has come in good timing, Enterprise. We’ll follow your lead,” stated the captain.

All of the alien ships then followed the Enterprise closely as it charged towards the Metrolian battleships.

Carol, Cathy and Helen looked on at the view screen, terrified.

“Vicky, Prepare to modify the shields at a constant rate to confuse the battleships,” ordered Charles.

“Right!” said Vicky.

“Dave, Prepare to open fire on my command,” ordered Charles.

“With pleasure!” said Dave with a determined look on his face.

“At that time, Simon, I want you to pull up hard!” ordered Charles.

“No problem!” said Simon.

The Enterprise and the alien ships got dangerously close to the Metrolian battleships. The battleships fired all of their weapons at them.

“Shields are down to 75%. We must act now!” shouted Chucky.

“Ok. Modify the shields, Vicky!” ordered Charles.

“Doing it now, Charles” said Vicky as she worked on her station.

“Ok, Dave, FIRE!” ordered Charles.

Dave then clicked the fire buttons. The Enterprise fired green lasers from their turrets at the Metrolian battleships. The frontline had been destroyed and the other battleships were heavily damaged. The Enterprise then pulled up over the explosions whilst the alien ships went on to destroy the rest.

One Metrolian fighter was left heavily damaged to its hull. Before the Enterprise could do anything, the fighter quickly warped out of the sector.

“Great work, everybody” praised Charles.

“We did it!” said Helen happily.

“I don’t think we’re out of this, yet” said Chucky with a concerned look on his face.

“Why not?” asked Carol.

“I’m detecting life signs that are equal to the life signs that were on the battleships, within the planet surface,” stated Chucky as he worked on his station.

Cathy looked deeply concerned.

“They are Metrolian life signs. We have to go down there and stop them,” she said.

“HELL YEAH, LET’S GO AND KICK SOME METROLIAN ARSE!” yelled Dave excitedly.

“The aliens are hailing us,” said Chucky.

“Put it on the view screen” ordered Charles.

The captain of the alien flagship appeared on the view screen.

“Rogue Warriors. I am captain Kruger of the Slethearian space fleet. You have my thanks and the thanks of all the Slethearian people,” he stated.

“You can thank us later, Kruger. We need to go down on the planet surface and help your people take the fight to the Metrolians,” explained Charles.

“You definitely cut to the chase pretty quick, Charles. It’ll be an honour to fight at your side,” stated Kruger.

“Great. See you planet side,” said Charles.

The Enterprise and the Slethearian ships then began to enter the planet’s atmosphere and landed on the planet surface.

*

The Enterprise and the Slethearian ships landed outside a Slethearian military base. The Rogue Warriors, Cathy and Carol stepped outside the Enterprise whilst hundreds of Slethearian troopers left their ships.

A Slethearian general approached to greet Kruger.

The Rogue Warriors stepped up.

“What’s the situation?” asked Charles.

The General then looked stunned.

“What the hell are these creatures?” he asked.

“They helped us fight of the Metrolian battleships in space, General. They call themselves the Rogue Warriors,” explained Kruger.

“They did, did they?” asked the general.

“Yes, sir. They wish to assist us in fighting the Metrolian invaders” stated Kruger.

The general then looked at the Rogue Warriors and pondered for a moment.

“Very well then. We could use all the help we can get,” said the general.

“Excellent. So, what’s the situation?” asked Simon.

The general then got out a map and placed it on the table.

“Alright, listen carefully. The Metrolians have created a base camp just outside the capitol city, and are using it as a staging area for the attack” explained the general.

“What are their intentions?” asked Chucky.

“They wish to take over the capitol city of this planet,” stated Kruger.

“If they take over the capitol city, they’ll rule the world,” stated the general.

They all paused for a moment.

“So, what do we do?” asked Vicky.

“I want you guys to split into two groups. One group will go with captain Kruger and attack the Metrolian base camp. The other group will remain here with me and hold the line between Metrolian troopers and the capitol city,” explained the general.

“Alright. Chucky, Simon, Carol, go with captain Kruger and attack the base camp” ordered Charles.

“What are you gonna do?” asked Chucky.

“I’ll remain here with the others to hold the line,” stated Charles.

“No way! I want to invade the base camp and destroy it!” shouted Dave.

“Dave, we need you here. You’re the strongest out of all of us,” stated Charles.

“That is why I should go off with Kruger and help with the attack!” argued Dave angrily.

“No, Dave!” ordered Charles.

“WHY NOT?!” yelled Dave.

“Think about it, Dave. The Metrolians will be sending most of their best troopers to take the city. At that time, the base camp will be left virtually defenceless with only a few troopers. I need your strength and determination to help hold the line. Your thirst for battle won’t be satisfied if you attack a defenceless base camp,” lectured Charles.

The others just looked on.

“Do you think Charles is getting through to him, Vicky?” asked Cathy.

“I dunno. I just love it when Charles lectures people” said Vicky with love in her eye.

“Uh oh, we’re losing her” joked Helen.

Dave then sighed.

“Very well, Charles. I guess you’re right… as usual” moped Dave.

“Look, Dave. Face the facts. You know I’m right when it comes to your theories” teased Charles.

Dave then frowned at Charles.

“Alright then, if there isn’t any further delay, let’s move out!” ordered Kruger.

He, Chucky, Simon and Carol then started to search for the Metrolian base camp.

*

About 15 minutes later, Chucky, Simon, Carol and Kruger managed to locate the Metrolian base camp. They took cover within the bushes nearby. They could see lots of troopers prepared for battle.

“Shit! They’re more heavily defended than I thought,” stated Kruger.

“How are we gonna get by them?” asked Simon.

“I don’t know. This is going to be tough,” said Chucky.

A large Metrolian then approached the troopers. He had lots of upper body strength. He had lots of cybernetic implants in his baldhead. He had a large gun imbedded in his right arm and jet pack that came out of his back.

Carol looked terrified.

“Oh no! It’s General Intellect! One of the Metrolian’s greatest tacticians” she stated fearfully.

“Is that bad?” asked Simon.

“Bad doesn’t even begin to explain how dreadful he is,” said Carol fearfully.

“We best not ask then,” said Chucky.

General Intellect approached the Metrolian troopers.

“Alright men, I want this done by the book. Storm through the outer defence and then split up into three groups and take different sectors of the city” ordered General Intellect.

“Yes, sir!” said the troopers.

“Remember, form up and stick together at all times. My commanders tell me that we’ve lost contact with the space fleet. So, I don’t want anyone to get lost out there. Got That?!” ordered General Intellect.

“Sir, yes sir!” said the troopers.

“Alright then, move out!” ordered General Intellect.

The Troopers then left the base camp and were headed for the capitol city. General Intellect went back inside the command centre.

“We better warn the others that the Metrolians are headed their way,” suggested Simon.

“Agreed. Just give me a sec. Charles, can you read me?” asked Chucky whilst he fiddled with his communicator.

There was no answer.

“What’s wrong? Can’t they read us?” asked Carol.

“I’m not sure,” said Chucky.

“Has the communicator been charged?” asked the Simon.

“It’s working perfectly. Something must be jamming the signal,” pondered Chucky.

“No doubt it’s coming from the Metrolian base. We best use stealth tactics in order to defeat them and have General Intellect surrounded,” suggested Kruger.

“I hope that Cathy and the others will be ok,” said Carol worryingly.

“If we do this quick enough, they should be fine. Now, stay low and follow me,” ordered Kruger.

The four then crept out of the bushes and crawled their way to the base wall. The defences were extremely light when most of the troopers left the base. Simon, Chucky, Carol and Kruger remained undetected as they climbed over the wall.

A few seconds later, Chucky checked the area.

“There are only a few of them out there. We should be able to take them,” he stated.

“We best remain vigilant and sneak into the command centre to trap General Intellect,” stated Kruger.

He then reached into his pocket with his tentacles and pulled out some guns.

“Here. You better use these,” he said as he gave the guns to the three.

“Good idea. In case he won’t be persuasive,” said Chucky.

Kruger then got another gun out and placed it in his hand on his forehead.

“Let’s go do this!” he said determinedly.

They all crept their way to the command centre.

Suddenly, a few Metrolian guards landed in front of them.

“Oh crap!” shouted Simon.

Chucky, Carol and Kruger tried to run to the exit, but were captured by the Metrolian guards. Simon, however, did make it to the exit and hid in the large bushes.

“Sweep the area and search for that guy! Take these three to General Intellect!” ordered on of the guards.

“Yes, sir” said the guards as they took Chucky, Carol and Kruger in the command centre.

*

Meanwhile, at the outskirts of the capitol city, tensions began to rise at the frontline.

Dave paced back and forth impatiently.

“Come on. They should be here by now! I WANNA KILL SOMETHING!” he yelled.

“I like the fire in your blood, lad. It shows that you can be extremely fierce,” stated the Slethearian general.

“You don’t know fierce until you’ve seen me in action, mate!” stated Dave angrily.

“And I can assure you that I am looking forward to that. But, for now, I suggest that you be patient” suggested the general.

“Why?!” asked Dave angrily.

“Because, if you bide your time, your increased rage and anger will fill up the beast inside you. And When battle does arrive, you’ll be able to release a powerful monster inside you and wipe out the enemy” explained the general.

Dave thought for a moment.

“Very well. Have it your way, general” he said.

Dave then too a deep breath and began to bide his time.

Charles was currently seated on a chair as he anxiously waited for the Metrolians to arrive.

Vicky approached and hugged him.

“Charles, I really love it when you lecture people, like you did Dave” flirted Vicky.

“Huh?” asked Charles.

“You know, you should do it more often. It’s a real turn-on” flirted Vicky.

Charles then looked incredibly nervous.

Vicky then started to kiss Charles multiple times on the cheek.

Charles then quickly got up.

“Look, Vicky. We’re about to fight a Metrolian army. We don’t have time for you to go all lovey-dovey on me. I need you to focus here,” lectured Charles.

“Oh, I am, Charles. I’ve never been more focused on you all my life than I am right now!” flirted Vicky.

Charles was now scared.

Vicky was about to smooch Charles, but Cathy and Helen started to hold her back.

“Hey, let go of me!” she shouted.

“We need you to calm down and focus on the mission,” stated Cathy.

“No! I want Charles, now! He’s such a sexy stud when lectures people!” stated Vicky as she struggled.

“Think about it, Vicky. How can you be with Charles if the Metrolians come and kill us?” asked Helen.

Vicky then stopped and thought for a moment.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, girls” said Vicky.

She then approached Charles.

“Sorry, Charles. I’ll focus on the mission,” she said as she grabbed her gun and took her position.

*

After five minutes, Simon crept out of the bushes and slowly made his way back to the Metrolian base. He could see that the guards were now on full alert.

“I have to rescue Chucky, Carol and captain Kruger, whatever the cost,” he thought to himself.

He then crept closer to the base. One Metrolian guard then decided to lean back against the base wall and drifted off to sleep.

Simon got close to the guard, got out a knife and slit open his throat. The guard dropped and bled to death a few seconds later.

Simon then got a smoke bomb and threw it in front of the other Metrolian guards. The bomb ignited on contact and smoke began to engulf them.

Simon then rushed in and killed all the Metrolian guards. He then paused for a moment and looked back at the corpses.

“Heh! I’m getting pretty good at this” he said with a grin.

He then crept inside the command centre.

Chucky, Carol and the Kruger were in medium sized cages that were hung from the ceiling.

“It looks like we’re stuck here,” said Chucky.

“Don’t worry. I’ll get us out of here” said Carol.

Her bracelet started to glow. She then turned into a small mouse. She attempted to run out of one of the cage gaps. She then was pushed back by a force field. She then changed back to her normal form.

General Intellect then entered the room.

“This is impossible!” he said with a stunned look on his face.

“General Intellect!” said Carol fearfully.

“A Polymorph! So, did you think that you could seek refuge with the Slethearians?” asked General Intellect angrily.

“I am not seeking refuge! I am here to help them stop you and I’ll kill you myself!” threatened Carol.

General Intellect then chuckled.

“You’re not in the position to make threats, Polymorph!” stated General Intellect.

He then walked up to the Kruger’s cage.

“Well, well. The great captain Kruger of the Slethearian space fleet! I take it that you did wipe out my fleet. Is that right?” asked General Intellect.

“You’re damn right! And that’s not the only thing I’ll wipe out today!” stated Kruger angrily.

“Ha! You wish!” said General Intellect.

He then walked up to Chucky’s cage and then looked confused.

“You’re neither Metrolian nor Slethearian. Who are you, boy? And what are you doing here?” asked General Intellect cautiously.

Chucky then glared at General Intellect.

“My name’s Chucky. I’m with the Rogue Warriors and we’re gonna bring down the Metrolian Empire!” he stated determinedly.

General Intellect then laughed at Chucky’s face.

“Foolish boy. How can you bring down the great Metrolian Empire whilst you’re stuck in that cage?” asked General Intellect.

Simon then entered the room.

“When I rescue them, they’ll be able to bring down your worthless Empire!” stated Simon determinedly.

“Simon” said Chucky and Carol happily.

General Intellect’s eyes then lit up with rage.

“HOW DARE YOU CALL THE METROLIAN EMPIRE WORTHLESS!!” he yelled.

“Come then, General Intellect. Give me your best shot!” shouted Simon.

General Intellect then broke a cold sweat.

A computer started to beep.

“Ha! You are too late, foolish creature! My army is about five minutes away from the outer city defence! This planet will soon fall to the Metrolians!” stated General Intellect.

Simon then threw smoke bomb at General Intellect. The smoke engulfed him. Simon rushed up to the computer and pressed a button that released the cages. Chucky, Carol and Kruger grabbed their guns and cornered General Intellect.

Kruger tackled General Intellect and pinned him against the wall.

“TELL YOUR TROOPS TO CALL OFF THE ATTACK, NOW!!!” he yelled.

“There’s no point if you kill me, the attack will still go on!” said General Intellect angrily.

Simon examined the computer.

“Hey, I found the trooper destruct button.” he said.

“NO! DON’T PRESS THAT!!” yelled General Intellect.

Simon pressed the button. The monitor showed that the Metrolian troopers were close to the city defence. Their heads suddenly exploded.

“Alright! We did it!” cheered Chucky.

General Intellect punched Kruger in the head and ran for his shuttle.

Carol tried to shoot him, but she missed by inches.

General Intellect got in his shuttle, took off and left the planet.

“Dammit it! He escaped!” shouted Kruger.

“Well, at least we saved the planet,” said Chucky.

Carol then went up and hugged Simon.

“Thank you for saving us, Simon” she said happily.

“Ah, no problem. Is everyone else alright?” asked Simon.

“Yep. We’re all ok,” stated Chucky happily.

Kruger took a look outside.

“My, my. You’ve definitely took care of everything outside, haven’t you, Simon” stated Kruger with an impressed tone.

“Yeah, well you know, practise makes perfect when you’ve been fighting for over a year” stated Simon.

They all headed back for the outer city defences.

*

The tension was nearly over the edge at the city defences.

Helen was on look out.

“Hey, something’s coming!” she called.

“FINNALY! LETS KILL THOSE METROLIAN SCUM!!!” yelled Dave with excitement.

“Get ready everyone!” said Charles.

“Fire on my command” ordered the Slethearian general.

“With extreme pleasure!” said Dave excitedly.

A few seconds later, Simon, Chucky, Carol and Kruger approached the defences.

“Whoa! Hold your fire! It’s the others,” said Vicky.

“You’re all safe,” said Cathy with relief.

Kruger approached the general.

“Mission accomplished, sir” he said.

“Excellent work, captain Kruger. Take up positions. The Metrolian army will be here soon,” ordered the general.

“That won’t be necessary, general. Simon, here, found the mainframe computer and caused a self-destruct sequence on all the troopers” explained Chucky.

“It caused all their heads to explode,” said Carol.

The general stepped up to Simon.

“Good work, young man. You’ve saved our planet,” he said.

Dave looked annoyed.

“It’s not fair! I wanted to kill those bastards. I could’ve at least seen their heads explode” he moped.

Simon walked up to Dave to calm him down.

“Don’t worry mate. You’ll get your shot eventually. And I’ll make sure that you’ll be fighting at my side when it comes” stated Simon reassuringly.

“I hope it comes soon,” said Dave.

“You just have to be patient,” said Vicky.

“Oh, shut up!” said Dave angrily.

*

The Rogue Warriors, Cathy and Carol said their goodbyes to the Slethearians, went back inside the Enterprise and took off into space. A few seconds later, they warped out of the system.

Zeus’s ship then de-cloaked and closed in near the Slethearian planet.

Zeus then started to ponder.

“Hmm. The Rogue Warriors seem to be fighting off the Metrolians pretty well. And they’re making allies as they go along” he said to himself.

He then thought for another moment.

“I must stay close to them and find out how powerful the Metrolians exactly are,” he concluded.

A few seconds later, his ship then warped into the direction the Enterprise was headed.

***

Season Two, Episode Five.