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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #258: That Osgood and Kate Sound
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Mar 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss possibilities for the next Doctor on Doctor Who, review the first three Big Finish UNIT New Series boxsets, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:20 — Welcome! 01:42 – News: 02:04 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #257: Holistic Double Banking
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 26 Feb 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller discuss BBC America/Netflix’s ‘Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency’ and Douglas Adams’ time on Doctor Who, play some games, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:20 — Welcome! 02:14 – No news […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #256: The Double Whammy
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Feb 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller discuss Peter Capaldi’s departure from Doctor Who and the legend that was John Hurt, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:25 — Welcome! 02:09 – News: 02:20 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #255: The Six Idiots
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Jan 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the Big Finish Doctor Who boxset ‘Classic Doctors, New Monsters: Vol. 1’ and Sherlock Series 4, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:35 — Welcome! 02:49 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #254: Bad Awakenings
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Jan 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and the Keith Dunn review the 1966 Doctor Who story ‘The Power of the Daleks’ and the 2016 film ‘Passengers’, say what we’ve been up to recently, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:14 — Welcome! 02:18 – […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #189: Doctor Who – The Return of Doctor Mysterio
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 08 Jan 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, supered, in front of the 2016 Doctor Who Christmas special, ‘The Return of Doctor Mysterio’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is desperate to get Amy back, the Ghost has a baby to monitor and Lucy is channelling Lois Lane. But enough of […]

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Rogue Warriors

Rogue Warriors:
Season One, Episode Seven

By Andy Dunn


Two months have passed since Zeus' lab was destroyed and the people of London couldn’t be happier. Simon and the Rogue Warriors were now known as heroes across the country. Everywhere they went, they were greeted with respect by anyone they come across.

As Simon and the Rogue Warriors were roaming the streets, a government agent approached them.

“Greetings, Rogue Warriors” he said, “The Prime Minister has requested your presence.”

“Is there a problem?” asked Charles.

“No, he just wants to speak to you all,” said the government agent.

They then headed for the houses of parliament and they wondered why the Prime Minister was eager to speak to them.

*

As the Prime Minister wrote down his notes, Simon and the Rogue Warriors walked into his office.

“You wanted to see us, sir?” asked Simon.

“Ah, Simon, Rogue Warriors, yes. Please come in and take a seat,” said the Prime Minister.

They all sat down on the chairs.

“So what is you wanted to see us for, sir?” asked Charles.

“Well, the President of the United States is making a visit to this country” explained the Prime Minister “and I want to introduce you all to him”.

“The President’s coming here?” asked Chucky.

“That’s right, Chucky” said the Prime Minister.

“What business does he have to do with us?” asked Dave.

“He comes over for one week, every year, to discuss a matter of politics with me” explained the Prime Minister “and I just want to show him what you all can do. And possibly recommend him to your services”.

“But what if we don’t want to go to America and help him?” asked Vicky.

“Don’t Worry, Vicky. You won’t be living there” explained the Prime Minister “Besides, if he does request your services, I’ll ensure that you all get paid.”

Vicky and Dave’s eyes then lit up.

“With that money, I can buy all kinds of beautiful dresses,” thought Vicky.

“I’ll be able to buy all sorts of cool weapons and gadgets with that kind of money,” thought Dave.

“We’ll do it!” said Vicky and Dave eagerly.

“Great! The meeting’s tomorrow at 11am” said the Prime Minister “I expect to see you all here then”.

“Err. Sorry, sir. But I can’t make it here at that time” said Simon.

“Why not, Simon?” asked the Prime Minister.

“Because I’ve got an important job interview tomorrow at care n’ save” said Simon.

“Well, can’t you re-arrange it?” asked the Prime Minister.

“I’m afraid not, sir” said Simon “They run a tight shift”.

“Very well” said the Prime Minister “you can see the President in two days then, Simon. However, I expect to see the rest of you here at 11am tomorrow”.

“Don’t worry, sir. We’ll be here,” said Charles.

“I can’t wait to meet the President,” said Helen eagerly.

“Excellent! I’ll see you all tomorrow then” said the Prime Minister “and good luck with job interview, Simon”.

“Thank you, sir” said Simon.

*

The next morning at Simon’s house, The Rogue Warriors were preparing to head for the houses of parliament whilst Simon was getting ready for the job interview.

“You look smashing, Simon” said Ben.

“I don’t think smashing is the right word for it, Ben,” said Simon “I think the word you’re looking for is incredibly nervous.”

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll do fine” said Ben.

“That’s what they all say,” said Simon “I’m just hoping that I don’t cock up big time.”

Ben chuckled a little bit.

“Anyway, how are the others doing?” asked Simon.

“They seem pretty excited about their situation,” said Ben.

“Eh?” said Simon.

He and Ben then went and check on the others.

“Hey, nice suit, Simon” said Dave

“You look really handsome,” said Helen.

“Thanks guys” said Simon nervously.

“What’s wrong, Simon” asked Vicky.

“It’s just that I’ve got the job interview that could affect my life and I’m really nervous” explained Simon “and you guys have got a meeting with the President of the United States and you all look excited.”

“Why is that bothering you so much?” asked Charles.

“Well, if I was in your situation, I’ll be scared out of my mind” said Simon.

“Well, we see the Prime Minister all the time and that doesn’t scare you” said Chucky.

“That’s because we all know and work for him, Chucky,” stated Simon.

They all pause for a second.

“Don’t worry about us,” said Charles “We’ll be fine. And I’m sure that you’ll do fine at your interview today.”

“Just take a deep breath and think of happy thoughts before you walk in” said Vicky.

Simon took a deep breath and said “Thanks guys.”

Alison then entered the room.

“Hey guys, you all better get going otherwise, you’ll be late,” she said.

Simon picked up his briefcase and left the house with the Rogue Warriors.

*

The Rogue Warriors were waiting for the President, outside the houses of parliament with the Prime Minister.

“Is there any sign of him, yet?” asked Helen.

“Be patient, Helen” said the Prime Minister “He’s only five minutes late.”

“I thought he was supposed to arrive on schedule,” said Vicky.

“Well due to the traffic in London, we expect him to be a bit late,” said the Prime Minister.

A black limo with two small American flags attached to the windows, suddenly arrived from around the corner. It was escorted by two police cars. The limo stopped in front of the entrance to the houses of parliament. The President exited from the back seat. He waved to the public as they cheered for him. He approached the Prime Minister and shook his hand.

“Welcome to England, mister President” said the Prime Minister.

“Thank you, Prime Minister” said the President.

The President then looks at the Rogue Warriors.

“These are the Rogue Warriors that I mentioned over the phone, sir,” explained the Prime Minister.

The President continued to stare at the Rogue Warriors.

“They are one of the reasons why you are visiting!” said the Prime Minister.

“But of coarse” said the President “I must apologise. I’m not really used to seeing, well uh… aliens on this planet.”

Dave and Vicky suddenly frowned.

“Shall we go inside?” asked the Prime Minister nervously.

They all entered the houses of parliament.

*

The Prime Minister, the President and the Rogue Warriors, all entered the Prime Minister’s office and they took their seats.

“So what is it you creatures do?” asked the President.

“We fight an evil scientist from trying to conquer the world,” explained Chucky.

“An evil scientist?” asked the President.

“Yeah, but don’t worry. He’s no longer a threat,” said Charles.

“Why not?” asked the President.

“Because we destroyed his secret lab,” said Helen.

“Is that all you do? Fight an evil scientist?” asked the President.

“You don’t understand how evil he was, sir” said the Prime Minister.

“How evil was he then?” asked the President.

“He tried launching all the nuclear weapons at the major cities around the world, he also attempted to unleash the mutated bird flu virus in London” said the Prime Minister.

“And these guys stopped him?” asked the President.

“Of coarse, we did,” said Dave.

The President then got up off his seat.

“I’m sorry. No offence or anything, but I’m not looking for a group of kids that can stop just one strange scientist,” said the President “I’m looking for something that can really make a difference for the world.”

The Rogue Warriors then looked slightly annoyed.

“If you give them a chance, mister President, then they can show you what they can really do,” said the Prime Minister.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t have the time. I got a meeting with one of my staff in 20 minutes” said the President as he left the office.

A few seconds after the President left the office, Dave started to throw a tantrum.

“WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?!!” he yelled.

“He’s the President,” said the Prime Minister.

“He was so rude towards us,” said Helen.

“He might not be used to you guys, yet” said the Prime Minister “just give him a chance.”

“That’s what you said to him about us!” stated Charles “And he said that we can’t make a difference for this planet.”

“I want to give that dick a piece of my mind!” said Vicky.

“If you do that, then you’ll probably be thrown into a military prison,” explained the Prime Minister “don’t forget that America is currently the most powerful country in the world.”

The Rogue Warriors then paused for a second.

“Are you scared of him or something, sir?” asked Charles.

“No, no, no…” said the Prime Minister nervously “H-he’s just…”

“You must be” said Dave “You said yourself that America’s the most powerful country.”

“Does he bully you to get you to do what he wants?” asked Helen.

“No, he doesn’t bully me,” said the Prime Minister “its just… things usually go his way in our meetings.”

“If he doesn’t bully you then, tell me this. Does he ever listen to a word that you say in your little meetings?” asked Vicky.

The Prime Minister just appeared stunned.

“Humph! I suspected as much,” said Vicky.

The Rogue Warriors then left the Prime Minister’s office.

*

The President’s limo stopped in front of a hotel. The President exited the limbo and entered the hotel.

“Welcome, mister President” said the hotel manager “how was your meeting with the Prime Minister?”

“Slightly satisfactory” said the President as he headed up to his hotel room.

He entered his room and started to look through his notes. His phone suddenly rang.

“Hello?” answered the President.

“Sorry to disturb you, sir” said the hotel manager over the phone “but a weird looking person is here and he wishes to speak to you.”

The President then looked at the time. It showed as 1:30pm.

“It’s alright, I’m expecting him” said the President “send him up.”

A few seconds later, a man entered the room.

“So what is it you wish to discuss with me… Zeus?” asked the President.

Zeus entered with an evil grin on his face.

“Well mister President, you’re a businessman aren’t you?” he asked.

“I don’t resort to business, Professor. I resort to politics and anything that won’t harm my great country,” said the President.

“I see,” said Zeus “but I know that you also seek power. More power than just controlling your country.”

“Your right, Professor. I do,” explained the President “I wish that America would cover more landscape on this planet than Russia does.”

“Well, mister President” said Zeus “With my help, I can give you that power.”

“Why should I trust you? You tried to destroy some of my cities, a few months back,” said the President.

“Because if we work together, we can have it all” said Zeus.

The President thought for a moment.

“There’s no point,” he said, “because your little freak friends, the Rogue Warriors will stop us.”

“That’s only if we work separately” explained Zeus “but, if you combined your forces with my technology capabilities, we’ll be unstoppable.”

The President then thought for another moment. He then got up and shook Zeus’s hand.

“Ok, Zeus. It’s a deal,” said the President “What’s your plan?”

“I need you to tell me who’s the leader of this country” explained Zeus “I already know that it’s not the Prime Minister and that the leader is a woman.”

“Ok. It’s Queen Elizabeth II,” said the President “she lives in Buckingham Palace.”

“Excellent! She is not long for this world!” said Zeus as he formed an evil grin.

“By the way, you can’t kill her until she withdraws the claim of the throne from herself and from her entire family” said the President.

Zeus sighed.

“Then we’ll have to completely surround the entire palace and force her to withdraw the throne,” said Zeus.

“I can bring the American army here within a week,” said the President.

“I don’t want to wait a week,” said Zeus.

The President then thought for a moment.

“I may have another idea. Follow me” he said.

*

The president’s black limo arrived at a lightly defended, secret British military base, just outside of London.

Zeus and the President exited the limo and approached the security guard.

“Mister President? What is Zeus doing with you?” asked the security guard.

Zeus then snapped the guard’s neck and the President grabbed the guns and started shooting the other guards. They went inside and killed all the guards except for one who was hiding inside an old tank. The President and Zeus believe that the coast was now clear.

“That’s all of them” said Zeus “So, what is it that you want me to use?”

“Its right over here” said the President as he pointed the way to Zeus.

They approached a large tank.

“This is the latest technology in American weaponry” explained the President.

“That is one large tank,” said Zeus with an amazed look in his eyes.

“This is no ordinary tank, my friend,” explained the President “this tank contains six machine guns at its base, and the main cannon fires homing missiles. It also contains a personal escape pod, just in case anything goes wrong.”

Zeus became more amazed.

“This should allow you to capture the royal family until I bring the army along” said the President.

Zeus then shook the President’s hand.

“I think that this’ll be the start of a special relationship,” said Zeus.

“I hope so too” said the President.

*

Simon waited along the corridors of care n’ save for his interview. He had been waiting for one hour. He got more and more nervous as the time went by. The office door then opened.

“Simon Dwellings? You may come in now,” said the manager.

Simon took a deep breath and entered the office.

“Please, take a seat,” said the manager.

Simon sat on the chair as the manager finished filing his notes.

“Ok Simon, here’s the jip” said the manager “I don’t care if you haven’t done this before, because you will be trained as time goes by.”

“Oh, thank god” said Simon with relief “that’s put a load off my mind.”

“All I want to know is that can you talk to people?” asked the manager.

“Well, yes of I can” said Simon.

“Excellent! Then come by tomorrow and we’ll give you your desk and computer” said the Manager.

“Have I got the job?” asked Simon.

“Yep” said the manager.

“Oh wow! Thanks a lot,” said Simon happily as he shook the manager’s hand.

Simon turned to leave the office and then stopped.

“Hang on! That was too easy. What’s the catch?” he asked.

“Oh alright” said the manager “You’re gonna find out tomorrow anyway.”

“Find out what?” asked Simon.

“This company only helps out rich, wealthy people to save their money and find jobs” explained the manager.

“What about the less fortunate?” asked Simon.

“We treat them like toilet rolls. Only give them a lot of crap.”

Simon then got angry.

“YOU CAN’T TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!” he yelled.

“OH YEAH?!! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!!” yelled the manager.

Just then, an explosion occurred behind the manager, which killed him and knocked Simon to the other end of the room. Simon got up and had a look. He saw the Rogue Warriors and the British army were trying to destroy Zeus’s new tank. They had only caused light damage to the tank.

“HAHAHAHA! You fools cannot stop me now!” said Zeus “Your attempts to stop me will be useless. Soon, I’ll take the Queen hostage and control this pitiful little country!”

Simon exited the destroyed building.

“What’s going on!” he asked.

“Get back, Simon!” said Charles “Zeus is trying to destroy London.”

Simon then opened up his briefcase, threw out all his notes and took out a rocket launcher. He put in a rocket and prepared to fire.

“GET DOWN, NOW!!” he yelled.

The Rogue Warriors and the British army took cover as they saw this. Simon then opened fire. Before the rocket hit the tank, Zeus quickly launched his escape pod and hurled towards the other end of London. Afterwards, the tank exploded. The Rogue Warriors emerged form the rubble.

“Holy shit!” shouted Dave “That was awesome, Simon.”

“Where did you get that rocket launcher from?” asked Chucky.

“From Zeus’s lab before we destroyed it” said Simon.

The British army then emerged and approached Simon.

“Thanks, kid. You’re a natural hero,” said the general.

“Thank you, sir” said Simon as he saluted the general.

The general saluted back.

Just then, the security guard from the military base arrived.

“I know the person who gave Zeus that tank,” he said.

“He was given it?” said Vicky

“Yes” said the security guard

“Who gave it to him, son” asked the general.

“It was the President,” said the security guard.

Everyone then looked shocked.

“We must inform the Prime Minister,” said Charles.

*

Simon, the general and the Rogue Warriors were in the Prime Minister’s office and given the Prime Minister the bad news.

“How could the President do this?” asked the Prime Minister “America has been our strongest ally for over 100 years.”

“He must have a good reason,” said Helen.

“To team up with Zeus?” said Simon.

“Is it his intention to take conquer England?” asked Dave.

“If he truly, personally gave Zeus that upgraded tank. Then his intentions are clear,” concluded the general “We must act, mister Prime Minister.”

“The question is, though, general. Is he afraid to act on this situation?” asked Charles.

The Prime Minister then paused to think.

The President suddenly entered the office. Everyone except the Prime Minister glared at him.

“Did I interrupt something?” asked the President.

The Prime Minister took a deep breath.

“No, not at all” he said.

“I’m so sorry for the damage done to your city” said the President “A strange lunatic hijacked it our most powerful tank earlier today.”

“Really” said the Prime Minister.

“It’s a good thing your freak warriors stopped him. I would want to see my ally’s capitol city destroyed,” said the President.

Simon and the Rogue Warriors looked angry. Dave almost lost his temper.

“I think, to be on the safe side, I should keep the royal family in America,” suggested the President.

“LIKE HELL YOU WILL!!” yelled the Prime Minister as he lost his temper.

“What did you say?!” asked the President in shock.

“We all know that it was you who gave the tank to Zeus earlier today!” shouted the Prime Minister.

“I… I don’t know what you are talking about,” said the President.

“Oh, don’t give me that crap!” shouted the Prime Minister “We have a witness with us today.”

The Prime Minister pointed to the door and the security guard entered the office.

“It turns out you didn’t kill everyone at that military base today” said the Prime Minister.

The President looked angry.

“Whatever. You’ll never win,” stated the President “You’ll never keep the Queen safe for long.”

The Prime Minister was then fuelled with rage.

“I’ll be informing the U.N. about you actions, mister President” he stated angrily “And when you go back to America, know this. England may be a small country, but we’re a powerful one as well.”

The president left the office in anger.

The Rogue Warriors looked at the Prime Minister.

“Great work, sir” praised Chucky.

“You stood up to him,” praised Vicky.

“I thought you had it in you all along” said Charles.

“I never thought I had it in me, until I believed in myself” said the Prime Minister “Thank you, Rogue Warriors.”

The Prime Minister shook everyone’s hand.

“But what are we going to do about the Queen, sir?” asked Helen.

“Oh yeah, she’s no longer safe. I’ll inform her about the situation.” said the Prime Minister.

“I’ll get the army to defend Buckingham Palace with their lives” said the general.

“Ok. Brace yourselves everyone. There’s gonna be a big battle ahead of us” said the Prime Minister.

***

Season One, Episode Eight.