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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #265: Wonder Cough
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘The Lie of the Land’ and ‘Empress of Mars’, discuss the 2017 film ‘Wonder Woman’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #193: Doctor Who – Smile
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jun 2017 08:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, emojied, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Smile’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is interfering with a new species, Bill has a decision to make and the Vardy just want everybody to be happy. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #264: Stimulated Reality
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 03 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steve Brittain review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Extemis’ and ‘The Pyramid at the End of the World’, discuss the Big Finish boxset ‘Charlotte Pollard, Series Two’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #192: Babylon 5 – Between the Darkness and the Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 May 2017 08:33

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, sprung, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 episode Between the Darkness and the Light, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan is sporting a fetching head band, Garibaldi is looking for mercy and Ivanova is feeling crushed. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #263: Musical Helmets
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 20 May 2017 14:03

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Knock Knock’ and ‘Oxygen’, tell of their recent visit to the Doctor Who studios in Cardiff and the Capitol 2 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #191: Doctor Who – The Pilot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 May 2017 09:46

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, puddled, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 premiere episode, ‘The Pilot’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is a lecturing security guard, Bill is fattening up the locals and Heather has a very moist fixation. But enough of their problems, please […]

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Rogue Warriors

Rogue Warriors:
Season One, Episode Three

By Andy Dunn


Simon woke up and got out from his bed the next morning.

He shared a large town house with three friends, Ben, George and Alison.

He wandered into the living room where George and Alison were chatting. She smiled at him, “Breakfast? I made some for your new friends” She pointed through to the dining room where the Warriors were tucking into toast and cereal.

“No thanks,” said Simon “I’m not that hungry”.

Ben walked in behind him and slapped his shoulder, “Come on mate, you gotta eat something. You had a rough day yesterday”.

“I know, Ben,” said Simon “but still, no”.

“If you insist.”.

George shook out a nespaper, “So, who are these guys?”.

“Rogue Warriors,” said Simon, hoping he wouldn't have to explain further.

“We fight an evil genius called Zeus whenever he stirs up trouble” said Chucky in a matter-of-fact voice as he smeared jam on his toast.

George blinked at him, “Um...why don’t you just kill him?”.

“We don’t seek to kill him, only to bring him to justice” said Charles.

“By the way, thanks for the hospitality and the food,” said Chucky.

“You're welcome,” said Alison.

Dave glowered at Simon, “Whatever. Can we please now look for a way to get off this planet!?”.

“Dave, you know we can’t. And stop being so rude!” snapped Vicky.

“Well I’m not going to sit around here eating human food for the rest of my life, I’m gonna find a way home!” and he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Ben helped himself to Chucky's toast, “What’s his problem?”.

“Don’t worry,” said Helen “He usually acts like that when things don’t go his way”.

“Really?” asked Simon.

“Yeah” said Vicky “he’ll eventually calm down and accept the fact that he’ll be living here”.

“He’ll also eventually apologise for making an arse out of himself,” said Charles.

The others grinned.

*

Later that day as it started to rain, Dave was wandering up and down an alley, kicking out at slimy cans and soggy cardboard boxes.

“They’re wrong,” he muttered, “We can go back. I’ll find a way. I refuse to live on a planet that has streets that are as filthy as this”.

Zeus looked on from a distance and smiled, “Anger,” he cackled, “Oh, very good! Very easy to use. A little twist here and there and I'll have this city at my feet in days!”

Stepping from the darkness he slowly approached Dave and the Warrior glared hate at him, “YOU!”

Zeus held ourt his hands, “No, don’t hurt me Dave. I need your help”.

“What do you mean?”

“I know a way to get back home,” said Zeus.

Dave grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into a wall, “Tell me!”

“Then let me go.”

Dave slowly released Zeus, he and Zeus stepped back, Zeus straightening his crumpled collar, “I have built another transporters device, similar to the one back at my old factory. I was trying to test it on the Prime Minister until you and your friends ruined everything”.

“You were holding him hostage.”

“I wouldn’t hold the leader of a whole country hostage. You think me cruel?”

“Is there any way we can still make this transporter work?” asked Dave.

“We need power and energy - lots of it - to restore it to its natural state.”

“Will this get my friends home also?” asked Dave.

“It should” said Zeus “but I’m not sure if Charles would wish to tag along if he finds out that you're helping me”.

“Don’t worry, Professor” said Dave “I’ll convince him to tag along - or I’ll force him to”.

*

Back at Simon’s house, a middle-aged man in a lab coat knocked on the door. Ben answered it.

“Hi, Professor Summers”.

“Hi there, Ben”.

“Come on in.”

The Professor stepped inside the house and met the rest of the gang.

“So, are these the Rogue Warriors, Simon?”

Simon nodded and handed the professor a cup of tea.

Professor Summers turned to the group and asked, “So, what did you need me for?”

“We heard that you are an inventor,” said Helen.

“Why… yes I am” said the Professor “I’ll be happy to help you all out”.

“Great” said Charles “Let Chucky help you, he’s in the same line of work.”

“Sure” said the Professor “the more the merrier”.

“Cheers Professor” said Chucky.

Charles looked at the time and asked, “Hasn’t Dave returned yet?”

“No, not yet” said Alison.

Charles with a concerned look on his face, suddenly said “I’m gonna find him, he might be lost”.

Vicky suddenly stepped up and said, “Let me go with you, Charles. You might need help”.

“Vicky, I’ll be fine on my own. Why don’t you go and visit a clothes shop or something?” said Charles.

As Charles left the building, Vicky suddenly got angry.

“Why does he always think that I’m nothing but a fashion slut!?” she said angrily.

“Because you always go crazy whenever you want to try on new clothes” said Chucky.

“SHUT UP CHUCKY!!!” yelled Vicky.

She ran out the house shouted “COME BACK HERE, CHARLES”.

The others paused for a moment.

“Does she always act like that, Chucky?” asked Simon.

“Eh, sometimes” said Chucky.

*

Zeus and Dave arrived at the computer lab and began working.

“How are we going to get the power?” asked Dave.

“I need you to reroute the electricity from London to my lab” said Zeus.

“From the entire city?” asked Dave.

“Yes, from the entire city” snapped Zeus.

“I’m not sure if we need that much to get home, Professor,” said Dave.

“I thought you wanted to help me, but I guess I was wrong. Guess we’ll just stay here in the cramped, crummy and filthy city for the rest of our lives” said Zeus.

“Grrrr! Alright!” shouted Dave “How can I reroute the electricity?” he asked calmly.

“First, go to London’s power centre and shut it down” Zeus explained “from then on you’ll be able to safely detach the electrical wires and reconnect them to my lab.”.

“That doesn’t seem too hard,” said Dave.

“From there, I’ll be able to transfer the energy to my transporter and target the location of our planet” said Zeus.

With a convinced look on his face, Dave said, “ok Dr, you can count on me. Just prepare the transporter when I’m done”.

As Dave left the lab, Zeus made an evil grin on his face.

“Ha! He’s such an idiot” he said to himself “He doesn’t know I need the power to launch the worlds nuclear weapons at all the major cities in the world! HAHAHAHA!

*.

As Dave entered London’s power centre, Charles began to approach him.

“Dave, What do you think you’re up to?” asked Charles.

“Outta my way Charles” demanded Dave “I’m helping Zeus get power to his lab so he can get us back home”.

“Your helping Zeus?” asked Charles.

“Yes,” said Dave “He was begging for help”.

Charles then said “Don’t you think that he’s using you for another evil scheme?”

“Are you calling me stupid?” said Dave angrily.

“Well, you’re certainly acting that way!” snapped Charles.

“THAT’S IT!” yelled Dave “I’M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB”.

“Bring it on tough guy!” shouted Charles.

As they started to fight each other, Vicky approached nearby.

“Oh great, not again!” she said.

She turned on her mobile phone and called Chucky.

“Vicky, where are you?” he asked.

“Outside the power centre” said Vicky “Charles and Dave are fighting again”.

Chucky sighed and said, “We’re on our way”.

“What’s going on?” asked Simon.

“Charles and Dave are fighting,” said Chucky.

“WHAT?!” shouted Ben.

“They’re on the same side” said George “why would they be fighting?”

“Don’t worry,” said Helen “they do this all the time”.

“Yeah, it isn’t a big deal,” said Chucky.

“How is it not a big deal?” asked Simon.

“It just isn’t” said Chucky “we just to get to their location quickly”.

Professor Summers then stepped up and said “I think I have something that can get you there fast. Follow me”.

Simon, Chucky and Helen followed Professor Summers to his workshop. He turned on the lights and revealed a jet fighter.

“I was going to use the jet to fly to the Bahamas one day” said the Professor “but I’m getting old and I no longer have any use for it”.

“You’re giving this to us?” asked Chucky.

“That’s right Chucky, It’s all yours”.

“How does it work?” asked Helen.

“It works just like a normal jet fighter” explained the Professor “except that its armour is greatly modified and it has improved weapon systems”.

“Thanks professor” said Simon.

Simon, Chucky and Helen then got in the jet fighter and headed for London’s Power centre.

*

At the power centre, Charles and Dave continued to fight each other. Vicky attempted to step in and break them up.

“BREAK IT UP GUYS!!!” she yelled.

“I will as soon as Dave here stops acting like a fool!” shouted Charles.

“You’re the fool, Charles!” snapped Dave “I’m trying to get us back on our planet”.

“Huh?” said Vicky “What do you mean?”

“Zeus has created another transporter to get us home” said Dave.

“What?” asked Vicky.

Charles and Dave suddenly stopped fighting.

“In order for it to work, I need to reroute the electricity to his lab,” said Dave.

“Isn’t it weird that Zeus needs all of London’s power for it to work?” said Charles.

Dave paused for a moment.

“Now that you mention it” he realised “he did act weird when I asked him that”.

“I think we should go and talk to the Dr about this” said Vicky.

As they lef the power centre, Simon, Chucky and Helen arrived in their new jet fighter.

“I’m glad you guys have stopped fighting,” said Helen.

“We haven’t officially stopped,” said Charles “It’s on hold at the moment”.

“Nice jet fighter” said Dave “where did you get it?”.

“Professor Summers gave it to us” said Chucky.

“We’re going to Zeus’s lab,” said Vicky “can you guys go and get the police and meet us there?”.

“Sure Vicky, we can do that,” said Simon.

The Jet fighter then took off and leaved the area.

“WHAT DO YOU NEED THE POLICE FOR!?” yelled Dave.

“Just in case that you’re wrong!” snapped Vicky.

“Ha! I can’t wait to see the look on your faces when you see I’m right” said Dave.

“I beg to differ,” said Charles.

Dave then glared at Charles.

*

Charles, Dave and Vicky arrived at Zeus’s lab.

As they entered, Dave said, “Prepare to see the truth guys”.

Dave entered first and Zeus saw him.

“Ah… Dave, you’re back,” said Zeus “I take it that the power is rerouted to my lab”.

Vicky and Charles entered the lab.

“Charles, Vicky? What are you two doing here?” asked Zeus with anxiety.

“Tell them Professor,” said Dave “say that you’re getting us back home”.

Zeus then paused and got an evil grin on his face.

“It doesn’t matter if you are here,” he said, “because thanks to Dave, I know have the power to launch all the nuclear weapons on all the major cities in the world! HAHAHAHA!”

Dave and Vicky then gasped.

“YOU TRICKED ME!!” Dave yelled.

“Well you are easily tricked when you usually get angry with your friends. Anybody could manipulate a moron like you”.

Dave suddenly lost his temper and charged at Zeus.

“STAY BACK” yelled Zeus.

Dave then stopped angrily.

“Take one more step forward and I’ll launch the nuclear weapons!” said Zeus.

Charles then smiled and walked forward slowly.

“I’M WARNING YOU, CHARLES,” yelled Zeus.

Charles continued to move forward. Vicky suddenly looked frightened.

“THAT DOES IT” yelled Zeus, as he pushed the button.

After a few seconds, nothing happened. Zeus continuously pressed the button.

“WHY IS NOTHING HAPPENNING?!!” he yelled.

“I forgot to mention that I stopped Dave before he could shut down London’s power” said Charles.

Zeus was then frozen in fear.

As Dave was about to beat him up, Zeus suddenly said, “Oh bugger!”

Dave started to beat up Zeus. The Police suddenly arrived and took Zeus into custody. Simon, Chucky and Helen arrived in the jet fighter shortly afterwards.

“What happened to him?” asked Chucky.

“Dave used him as a punching bag” said Vicky.

They all suddenly turned and looked at Dave.

Now filled with remorse, Dave walked up to the others and said, “I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused. If I knew what Zeus was up to, I wouldn’t have helped him”.

“Are you willing to accept the fact that you going to live on this planet?” asked Helen.

“Yes” said Dave.

“What are you also sorry for?” asked Vicky.

“Oh, come on, Vicky” moaned Dave “Don’t make me say it”.

Vicky then glared at Dave.

“Oh, ok, I’m sorry for making an arse out of myself,” said Dave embarrassingly.

“Yeah for the 50th time” said Charles cheekily.

Everyone except Dave started to laugh.

“HEY! Stop mentioning that!” shouted Dave “It’s not funny”.

***

Season One, Episode Four