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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #295: Shrinky and Dinky
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Aug 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who: The Invisible Enemy and the 2018 Ant-Man and the Wasp, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:30 — Welcome! 02:10 – News: 02:18 — ALF: New TV series in the […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #294: The Planet of Hot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Jul 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss a Doctor Who: Planet of Fire and the 2018 Pixar film Incredibles 2, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:50 — Welcome! 03:04 – News: 03:07 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #293: Copping the High Frontier
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Jul 2018 09:47

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, and the Real Keith Dunn discuss a Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Evil One and the 1987 BBC TV Series Star Cops, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:16 — Welcome! 02:20 – News: 02:24 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #292: Lost in Netflix
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 01 Jul 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, and the Real Keith Dunn discuss a Big Finish’s Doctor Who: Energy of the Daleks and Netflix’s Lost in Space Season 1, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:21 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #291: Goodbye, our Victorian Friends
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Jun 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss a swan song in Jago and Litefoot Forever and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:39 — Welcome! 03:12 – News: 03:15 — Doctor Who: Big […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #290: The Meddling Nerf Herder
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 Jun 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who: The Time Meddler and Solo: A Star Wars Story, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:05 — Welcome! 02:08 – News: 02:23 — Doctor Who: Classic series coming […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Kirk Revolts Federation Mass Protest

A weekend of Federation-wide anti-Kirk demonstrations has brought millions of people out onto the streets in protest of Starfleet Captain James T. Kirk's bizarre and disturbing behaviour.

Most protests were on Saturday, but up to 750,000 people took part in a final event in San Francisco on Sunday, after police closed off the city the day before to protect the public from images of the insane Kirk streaking through the streets.

Between sixteen and twenty million people are thought to have marched on up to 60 worlds over the weekend - the largest demonstrations of their kind since the reviled novelist Captain Jonathan Archer released a string of novels after a time travelling romp to Belmarsh Prison, England, Earth and the year 2002.

Friends of Kirk put his recent mental state down to the shock he suffered when he found his best friend Spock floating face down in the sewage pool of the USS Enterprise. Persistent allegations that Kirk murdered his friend after the Vulcan objected to the Captain's proposed debut album - 'Enterprise in the Sky with Diamonds'. Others have speculated that Spock was planning a rival singing career but, illogical as that may be, no doubt it would not have included scenes of him poll dancing and spinning tassells from his rolls of fat, unlike Kirk's.

Whatever the cause, Kirk's recent parading of his uncorseted blubber on key Federation worlds and his ravishing of toothless old ladies has rocked the Federation government. His outspoken calls to be given constant air-time on all broadcast media and the repealing of the ban on the showing of psychologically damaging content have caused panic on all civilised worlds.

When cornered, Kirk's only reply to our questions was to 'sing' his latest pop cover outrage: "I wish I could - fly - but I - can't."

Federation security forces are warning to be vigilant against a string of Kirk doubles that are roaming the galaxy, possibly on Kirk's orders to help confuse the situation or simply to protect the real Kirk. Authorities are known to be developing a new technobabble device of the week to counter this threat of Kirk and his legion of mass distraction.