Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #329: Evil, Evil Monkey
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 01 Dec 2019 10:31

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Curse of Fenric as seen at the BFI and the first four episodes of the BBC’s His Dark Materials, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:26 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #328: Flappy Chronovores and Cyborg Policemen
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Nov 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Time Monster and the 1987 film Robocop, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:34 — Welcome! 02:02 – News: 02:16 — Doctor Who: Ace […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #327: Insanity Breeding
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 Nov 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: Dust Breeding and the 2019 film Joker, discuss their visit to the Panopticon Lite Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:49 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #326: Do You Want to be a Hero?
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Oct 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Revenge of the Cybermen and the 1986 film Biggles, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:04 — Welcome! 02:00 – News: 02:13 — Doctor Who: Is the Doctor now a […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #325: He’ll Save Every One of Us
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 06 Oct 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Big Finish boxset Doctor Who: The Legacy of Time and the 1980 film Flash Gordon, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:57 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #324: Having a Carnival Row
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Sep 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the Doctor Who: Planet of the Spiders audiobook and Amazon’s Carnival Row TV series, discuss the recent BFI Doctor Who event, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:45 […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Archer Banged Up Jeffrey and Jonathan Archer

Time travelling Starfleet moralist, Captain Jonathan Archer, has been duped by disgraced former Tory, 'Lord' Jeffrey Archer, into taking his place in prison.

Captain Archer's part in the Temporal War now looks at an end after a fateful meeting between himself and possible ancestor Jeffrey Archer. The British novelist, Tory activist and convicted purgurist somehow convinced the gullible Starfleet Captain into believing his two cell mates were enemy agents in the time war.

STUNNED
Captain Archer further compounded his error by agreeing to stun the prison guards long enough to swap his uniform for liar Jeffrey Archer's prison garb. Eye witness reports tell of how Captain Archer was then whacked over the side of the head with a fire extinguisher and dumped in Jeffrey's cell.

MUPPET
A rude awakening was in store for Captain Archer, trapped with two ex-kids tv presenters from Rainbow, George and Zippy. The puppet duo were thrown in the slammer earlier this year for the brutal murder of co-star talking bear Bungle, whose pelt they sold to big name fan of the kids tv series Roy Skelton. Partly in reference to the fact that they only have one arm, the twosome, one a pink hippo and the other an orange creature who had a zip sown into his mouth for dubious air deprivation stimulation, are known around the Belmarsh high security prison as the One Armed Bandits.

BUGGERED
Other prisoners have exclusively told the News of the Universes how for the rest of that afternoon all they could hear were echoing cries from Archer's cell, "Ow, Jeffrey!", being repeated over and over. Jonathan Archer is understood not to have left his prison cell since. His two cell mates venture out only long enough to smuggle back food for the three of them. Captain Archer is known to have a history with several aliens, including a female Vulcan and a shape shifting alien of unknown gender. As a senior Starfleet officer Archer has also had extensive training on how to be captured and thrown into dank dungeons. It would appear that any similar knowledge on how to break out has alluded him this time.

FAKED
Various reports are coming in from across the timeline that suggest Jeffrey Archer has convinced the crew of the USS Enterprise (NX-01) that he is a Starfleet captain, perhaps even Jonathan Archer himself, and they are now running amok and dining at the best restaurants throughout time.