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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #396: Running Up That Boxset
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 26 Jun 2022 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: Ninth Doctor Adventures Vol. 5 – Back to Earth and Stranger Things: Season 4, Volume 1, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:48 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #395: A Right Royal Mess
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Jun 2022 08:00

Summary: Join us to celebrate our fifteenth anniversary of podcasting with a picnic in the park, on the 2nd of July 2022 at 13:00 in Goff’s Park, Crawley, West Sussex (https://w3w.co/cakes.fluid.simple). In the meantime… Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn discuss British royalty appearances in Doctor Who, review the 2015 Minion film, play […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #394: Zagreus Sees You in Your Bed
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 May 2022 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the Big Finish’s 40th anniversary Doctor Who story Zagreus and 2022 Marvel film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:52 — Welcome! 03:27 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #247: Doctor Who – Legend of the Sea Devils
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Mon, 23 May 2022 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, wrecked, in front of 2022 Doctor Who Easter episode ‘Legend of the Sea Devils’, and spout our usual nonsense! Dan has an eyepatch, Madame Ching has lost her crew, Ji-Hun doesn’t have a Quattro but the Doctor has drezzed for the occasion. But enough […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #393: Ncuti Gatwa Goes Fourteenth
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 May 2022 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss the recent Doctor Who casting of Ncuti Gatwa, review Star Trek: Picard season two, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:23 — Welcome! 02:08 – News: 02:13 — Doctor Who: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #392: Swashing Sea Demons
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 01 May 2022 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Doctor Who 2022 Easter Special – Legend of the Sea Devils, recount their time at Back to the Future: The Musical and Doctor Who: Time Fracture, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Archer Banged Up Jeffrey and Jonathan Archer

Time travelling Starfleet moralist, Captain Jonathan Archer, has been duped by disgraced former Tory, 'Lord' Jeffrey Archer, into taking his place in prison.

Captain Archer's part in the Temporal War now looks at an end after a fateful meeting between himself and possible ancestor Jeffrey Archer. The British novelist, Tory activist and convicted purgurist somehow convinced the gullible Starfleet Captain into believing his two cell mates were enemy agents in the time war.

STUNNED
Captain Archer further compounded his error by agreeing to stun the prison guards long enough to swap his uniform for liar Jeffrey Archer's prison garb. Eye witness reports tell of how Captain Archer was then whacked over the side of the head with a fire extinguisher and dumped in Jeffrey's cell.

MUPPET
A rude awakening was in store for Captain Archer, trapped with two ex-kids tv presenters from Rainbow, George and Zippy. The puppet duo were thrown in the slammer earlier this year for the brutal murder of co-star talking bear Bungle, whose pelt they sold to big name fan of the kids tv series Roy Skelton. Partly in reference to the fact that they only have one arm, the twosome, one a pink hippo and the other an orange creature who had a zip sown into his mouth for dubious air deprivation stimulation, are known around the Belmarsh high security prison as the One Armed Bandits.

BUGGERED
Other prisoners have exclusively told the News of the Universes how for the rest of that afternoon all they could hear were echoing cries from Archer's cell, "Ow, Jeffrey!", being repeated over and over. Jonathan Archer is understood not to have left his prison cell since. His two cell mates venture out only long enough to smuggle back food for the three of them. Captain Archer is known to have a history with several aliens, including a female Vulcan and a shape shifting alien of unknown gender. As a senior Starfleet officer Archer has also had extensive training on how to be captured and thrown into dank dungeons. It would appear that any similar knowledge on how to break out has alluded him this time.

FAKED
Various reports are coming in from across the timeline that suggest Jeffrey Archer has convinced the crew of the USS Enterprise (NX-01) that he is a Starfleet captain, perhaps even Jonathan Archer himself, and they are now running amok and dining at the best restaurants throughout time.