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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #278: Festive Fools
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Dec 2017 09:38

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the Big Finish Doctor Who boxset ‘The Tenth Doctor Adventures: Vol. 2’ and the recent partly animated Doctor Who: Shada, play some festive games, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #206: Babylon 5 – Movements of Fire and Shadow
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Dec 2017 10:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, detecting, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Movements of Fire and Shadow’, and spout our usual nonsense! Lyta and Dr. Franklin have their investigating feet on, Mollari is keeping himself locked up and Delenn prangs her Whitestar. But enough of their […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #277: Make the Sanest Listener Go Mad
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 Dec 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the likes of Big Finish’s Doctor Who: Dark Eyes, Star Trek Discovery and Red Dwarf XII, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:30 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #205: Doctor Who – The Lie of the Land
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 26 Nov 2017 10:17

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, broadcasting, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘The Lie of the Land’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor has become a TV presenter, Bill is still fixated on a dead woman and the Monks have given up on VR entirely. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #276: Whittaker Calling Orson
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Nov 2017 09:15

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who subjects such as the Thirteenth Doctor’s costume, the 60s and 70s composer Dudley Simpson and director Paddy Russell, review the second season of Stranger Things, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #204: Babylon 5 – And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, inquiring, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari is feeling left out, Lennier has some hot footage and G’Kar wants to guard Londo’s body. But enough of their problems, please […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Celebrity Shocker: Forced Apart! Vader left holding the baby

In a shock announcement, the galaxy's favourite couple, Anakin and Padmé Skywalker have announced the breakdown of their marriage.
According to sources close to the family things haven't been right between the couple since the birth of their children.

Evil Emperor
"It's all his fault" said a friend of the family. "Everything was fine between the two until they discovered they were to have children. When he found out, he went off his head!"
This wouldn't be the first time that "Sullen" Skywalker has gone off the rails. As your News Of The Universes reported two years ago, Skywalker was investigated by officers of the Republic Police Force after a waitress at an Anchorhead café reported him behaving suspiciously.
"He walked in, covered in blood, carrying the head of a Tusken Raider. Dripping blood all over the floor, it was." said the young girl. She has since been offered a post with Chancellor Palpatine's office.
"I was very good to her" said the Chancellor.
"He was very good to me", said the waitress (Who for legal reasons can only be identified as "Miss. J").
"She owes everything to me" Palpatine added, modestly waving off any praise.
"I owe everything to him" said Miss. J.

Twins
"The twins mean everything to Mistress Padmé" said sources close to the family. "Oh my! I dread to think what will happen to them. And us. We're sure to be disassembled."
Fears have been raised after "Old Sulky Boots" Skywalker went on a 48 hour drinking binge with his friend and mentor, Jedi Knight Kenobi. Apparently the two fell out after Kenobi spilled Skywalker's pint. A fight ensued in which Skywalker came off the worse. Eyewitnesses stated that he left in a foul temper making veiled threats about his wife.
Padmé Skywalker has taken these threats seriously and moved to Alderaan. However, witnesses at the spaceport said that she only arrived with one of the twins. It has been assumed that Skywalker has insisted on visiting rights and that it was "his weekend".
A statement from Annakin Skywalker's press office states that the marriage is considered dead by Skywalker. As are Padmé, the twins, "those bloody 'droids and any planet stupid enough to shelter them all!"
All this couldn't have happened at a worse time for "Stroppy" Skywalker. He has just taken on a new job as Chancellor Palpatine's right hand man. Yesterday, at the Dorchester, Annakin relaunched himself in a bid to keep his popularity.
"Call me Vader" he grinned from behind the plastic gimp mask that completes the bizarre apparel he has decided on as his trademark. He refused to answer questions about the divorce, even though reporters kept firing questions at him. The press conference broke up shortly after due to several people choking. "Sorry about the fish bones in the salmon vol au vants" said Vader, before having to rush off to receive treatment for the asthema he was recently diagnosed with.

 

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