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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #276: Whittaker Calling Orson
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Nov 2017 09:15

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who subjects such as the Thirteenth Doctor’s costume, the 60s and 70s composer Dudley Simpson and director Paddy Russell, review the second season of Stranger Things, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #204: Babylon 5 – And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, inquiring, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari is feeling left out, Lennier has some hot footage and G’Kar wants to guard Londo’s body. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #275: Business is Business
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Ultimate Adventure, the fifth and sixth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episode Timewave, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #203 Doctor Who – The Pyramid at the End of the World
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:00

Summary: The Doctor is trapped in an even more artificial situation than last week, Bill considers the meaning of consent and the Monks have gained god-like powers in the real world. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to enjoy The Pyramid at the End of the World… Vital Links: Staggering Stories. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #274: The Seven Keys to Starbug
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Seven Keys to Doomsday, the third and fourth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episodes Cured and Siliconia, find some general […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #202: Babylon 5 – Phoenix Rising
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, roasted, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Phoenix Rising’, and spout our usual nonsense! Byron is losing control of more than his flowing locks, Garibaldi has a word with Bester and the rogue telepaths are burning bright. But enough of their […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

When Clones Attack! Snap!

The universes collided yesterday when two famous 'Scooby Gangs' came together following the intervention of the shadowy figure known only as The Tangoman.

Dressing Up Games
Mayhem overtook the rainy town of Westbury, England where the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers (best known for her empire of kinky shops), and her friends were hiding after slaying simian President George Dubya. One eye witness reports: "There I was, going down ta bathhouse when this almighty ruckus began. I almost dropped ma missing persons pasty!"

Buffy's friend Xander Harris (best known for being the most helpless member of the Scooby Gang) explains further: "Man, oh man! There was, like, a flash! Next thing I know I was, like, running for my life! Zoinks! Then I realised that I was wearing this, like, totally cool green shirt and brown pants!"

British Watcher (not to be confused with voyeur) Rupert Giles, who was recently put on the sex offenders list after spending too much time with school children, continues: "Then a demon, The Tangoman, appeared along with his henchman David Dickinson. Fortunately I was distracted from the orange spectacle by my own reflection - do you like my fetching red ascot!"

Flashers
Meddling kids Velma 'sex in a turtleneck' Dinkley, Daphne 'tie me up' Blake, Freddy Jones and Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers, known universally as Mysteries Inc, appeared on the scene in a cosmic flash. For reasons yet to be revealed the two foursomes swapped clothes and, it has been suggested, personality elements (for those that had a personality to swap). Later claims from the Cult of Orange Faced Celebrities puts responsibility of the changes down to their leader The Tangoman.

Slayer Scooby Gang, apparently taking fright at the sudden appearance of their cartoon-like doubles, jumped into the arms of brainiac member Willow 'devours from below' Rosenberg who incredibly carried her three companions off to safety. Rosenberg later explained: "Jinkies! Suddenly I found myself wearing a turtleneck and wanting to find clues to where these four strangers and their green van had come from. Then the guys jumped into my arms and it suddenly felt so familiar."

The Hunt
Bad 1970 pop music filled the air as the Scooby Gang and Mysteries Inc ran back and forth through a series a doors, both believing the other group was chasing them. It only stopped when Velma Dinkley was knocked and lost the notebook computer she had swapped with Willow Rosenberg. Dinkley is quoted as saying: "My laptop! My laptop! I can't see without my laptop!"

The truth of the situation quickly became apparent when Orange Faced Celebrity antique dealer David 'The Hunter' Dickinson began to trade the two gangs and their vehicles. On the Slayer Scooby Gang's inexplicably Atlantic crossing vehicle, Dickinson: "You can see the love this old ice-cream van has encountered - just look at those stains in the back! Could be a bit of a duffer but it's sure to be cheap as chips!"

Posh and Kicks
Rich kid Daphne Blake and her slayer double Buffy Summers tag teamed up against Dickinson. Daphne Blake: "We totally kicked antiquey and orangey butt."

That wasn't the end of their troubles as they still had had The Tangoman to capture.

Giles: "I'd devised this incredible plan that involved Xander and Shaggy luring The Tangoman into a trap. It kinda worked - we ended up trapping both him and Xander and Shaggy."

Waddling
What Giles didn't say was that Xander almost ruined the plan by stopping off for a 'super Shaggy sandwich' despite eating an entire box of dog biscuits only moments earlier. Harris is now walking awkwardly after two days of anal probing to determine if he has a digestive problem. Leaked information lends credence to the theory that he has a colony of worms partying in his intestines. Others suggest the 'freaky beatnik' may have a drugs problem.

Unmasking
Sleuthing twins Velma and Willow unmasked the dread Tangoman. Eyewitness reports quote all eight members of the Scooby Gangs as, in unison, proclaiming: "George Dubya?!"

Unmasked villain Dubya, now in custody with the Watcher's Council, allegedly replied: "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddlifying kids."

A spokesman for the demon fighting Watcher's Council said that Dubya will be well treated in a chickenwire cage at their high security prison in Herne Bay.