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Staggering Stories Commentary #242: Doctor Who – Once, Upon Time
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 Jan 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, displaced, in front of 2021 Doctor Who episode ‘Once, Upon Time’, and spout our usual nonsense! Vinder has a problem with his Serpent, Yaz is just playing a videogame and the Doctor’s put her coat on inside out. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #384: A Dalek Named Eve
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 09 Jan 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2022 Doctor Who story Eve of the Daleks, play a game, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2022, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2021, find some general news, and […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #241: Doctor Who – War of the Sontarans
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 Jan 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, battled, in front of 2021 Doctor Who episode ‘War of the Sontarans’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mary Seacole is left to take notes, Dan is betting his life on a wok and the Doctor has some potato heads to deal with. But enough […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #383: The Santy Claus Insanity
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 25 Dec 2021 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the Big Finish Doctor Who audio The One Doctor and the 1964 film Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, play some games, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #240: Doctor Who – The Halloween Apocalypse
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Dec 2021 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, fluxxed, in front of 2021 Doctor Who episode ‘The Halloween Apocalypse’, and spout our usual nonsense! Dan’s got that shrinking feeling, Karvanista has that doggy smell and the Doctor’s now sleeping in the console room? But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #382: An Awfully Big Adventure
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Dec 2021 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the new Doctor Who episodes Survivors of the Flux and The Vanquishers, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:22 — Welcome! 02:18 – News: 02:30 — Doctor […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

When Clones Attack! Snap!

The universes collided yesterday when two famous 'Scooby Gangs' came together following the intervention of the shadowy figure known only as The Tangoman.

Dressing Up Games
Mayhem overtook the rainy town of Westbury, England where the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers (best known for her empire of kinky shops), and her friends were hiding after slaying simian President George Dubya. One eye witness reports: "There I was, going down ta bathhouse when this almighty ruckus began. I almost dropped ma missing persons pasty!"

Buffy's friend Xander Harris (best known for being the most helpless member of the Scooby Gang) explains further: "Man, oh man! There was, like, a flash! Next thing I know I was, like, running for my life! Zoinks! Then I realised that I was wearing this, like, totally cool green shirt and brown pants!"

British Watcher (not to be confused with voyeur) Rupert Giles, who was recently put on the sex offenders list after spending too much time with school children, continues: "Then a demon, The Tangoman, appeared along with his henchman David Dickinson. Fortunately I was distracted from the orange spectacle by my own reflection - do you like my fetching red ascot!"

Flashers
Meddling kids Velma 'sex in a turtleneck' Dinkley, Daphne 'tie me up' Blake, Freddy Jones and Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers, known universally as Mysteries Inc, appeared on the scene in a cosmic flash. For reasons yet to be revealed the two foursomes swapped clothes and, it has been suggested, personality elements (for those that had a personality to swap). Later claims from the Cult of Orange Faced Celebrities puts responsibility of the changes down to their leader The Tangoman.

Slayer Scooby Gang, apparently taking fright at the sudden appearance of their cartoon-like doubles, jumped into the arms of brainiac member Willow 'devours from below' Rosenberg who incredibly carried her three companions off to safety. Rosenberg later explained: "Jinkies! Suddenly I found myself wearing a turtleneck and wanting to find clues to where these four strangers and their green van had come from. Then the guys jumped into my arms and it suddenly felt so familiar."

The Hunt
Bad 1970 pop music filled the air as the Scooby Gang and Mysteries Inc ran back and forth through a series a doors, both believing the other group was chasing them. It only stopped when Velma Dinkley was knocked and lost the notebook computer she had swapped with Willow Rosenberg. Dinkley is quoted as saying: "My laptop! My laptop! I can't see without my laptop!"

The truth of the situation quickly became apparent when Orange Faced Celebrity antique dealer David 'The Hunter' Dickinson began to trade the two gangs and their vehicles. On the Slayer Scooby Gang's inexplicably Atlantic crossing vehicle, Dickinson: "You can see the love this old ice-cream van has encountered - just look at those stains in the back! Could be a bit of a duffer but it's sure to be cheap as chips!"

Posh and Kicks
Rich kid Daphne Blake and her slayer double Buffy Summers tag teamed up against Dickinson. Daphne Blake: "We totally kicked antiquey and orangey butt."

That wasn't the end of their troubles as they still had had The Tangoman to capture.

Giles: "I'd devised this incredible plan that involved Xander and Shaggy luring The Tangoman into a trap. It kinda worked - we ended up trapping both him and Xander and Shaggy."

Waddling
What Giles didn't say was that Xander almost ruined the plan by stopping off for a 'super Shaggy sandwich' despite eating an entire box of dog biscuits only moments earlier. Harris is now walking awkwardly after two days of anal probing to determine if he has a digestive problem. Leaked information lends credence to the theory that he has a colony of worms partying in his intestines. Others suggest the 'freaky beatnik' may have a drugs problem.

Unmasking
Sleuthing twins Velma and Willow unmasked the dread Tangoman. Eyewitness reports quote all eight members of the Scooby Gangs as, in unison, proclaiming: "George Dubya?!"

Unmasked villain Dubya, now in custody with the Watcher's Council, allegedly replied: "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddlifying kids."

A spokesman for the demon fighting Watcher's Council said that Dubya will be well treated in a chickenwire cage at their high security prison in Herne Bay.