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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #200: Babylon 5 – In the Kingdom of the Blind
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Sep 2017 12:24

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, blackmailed, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘In the Kingdom of the Blind’, and spout our usual nonsense! Byron and his flowing locks are attempting some dirty blackmail, the Centauri Regent has taken to drink and Londo Mollari needs to watch […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #271: That Derby Aroma
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Sep 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller recount their time at the recent Whooverville 9 Doctor Who convention, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:30 — Welcome! 03:26 – News: 03:34 — […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #199: Doctor Who – Oxygen
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Mon, 04 Sep 2017 11:06

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, hypoxiated, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Oxygen’, and spout our usual nonsense! Bill is having a bad suit day, the Doctor is giving her his helmet and the techno-zombies are running rampant. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #270: As Each Doctor Became
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s ‘Power Play’ audio play, discuss when each actor became the Doctor, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 01:59 – News: 02:10 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #198: Babylon 5 – Day of the Dead
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, visited, in front of the Neil Gaiman’s Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Day of the Dead’, and spout our usual nonsense! Zooty has a terrible secret, Lennier has a shadowy visitor, Lochley is trying to establish an identity for herself and Kosh has another […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #269: Jago, Litefoot and AsBill
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn have a retrospective on Doctor Who ‘Series 10’, discuss Big Finish’s ‘Jago and Litefoot, Series 4’ audio boxset, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

When Clones Attack! Snap!

The universes collided yesterday when two famous 'Scooby Gangs' came together following the intervention of the shadowy figure known only as The Tangoman.

Dressing Up Games
Mayhem overtook the rainy town of Westbury, England where the Vampire Slayer, Buffy Anne Summers (best known for her empire of kinky shops), and her friends were hiding after slaying simian President George Dubya. One eye witness reports: "There I was, going down ta bathhouse when this almighty ruckus began. I almost dropped ma missing persons pasty!"

Buffy's friend Xander Harris (best known for being the most helpless member of the Scooby Gang) explains further: "Man, oh man! There was, like, a flash! Next thing I know I was, like, running for my life! Zoinks! Then I realised that I was wearing this, like, totally cool green shirt and brown pants!"

British Watcher (not to be confused with voyeur) Rupert Giles, who was recently put on the sex offenders list after spending too much time with school children, continues: "Then a demon, The Tangoman, appeared along with his henchman David Dickinson. Fortunately I was distracted from the orange spectacle by my own reflection - do you like my fetching red ascot!"

Flashers
Meddling kids Velma 'sex in a turtleneck' Dinkley, Daphne 'tie me up' Blake, Freddy Jones and Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers, known universally as Mysteries Inc, appeared on the scene in a cosmic flash. For reasons yet to be revealed the two foursomes swapped clothes and, it has been suggested, personality elements (for those that had a personality to swap). Later claims from the Cult of Orange Faced Celebrities puts responsibility of the changes down to their leader The Tangoman.

Slayer Scooby Gang, apparently taking fright at the sudden appearance of their cartoon-like doubles, jumped into the arms of brainiac member Willow 'devours from below' Rosenberg who incredibly carried her three companions off to safety. Rosenberg later explained: "Jinkies! Suddenly I found myself wearing a turtleneck and wanting to find clues to where these four strangers and their green van had come from. Then the guys jumped into my arms and it suddenly felt so familiar."

The Hunt
Bad 1970 pop music filled the air as the Scooby Gang and Mysteries Inc ran back and forth through a series a doors, both believing the other group was chasing them. It only stopped when Velma Dinkley was knocked and lost the notebook computer she had swapped with Willow Rosenberg. Dinkley is quoted as saying: "My laptop! My laptop! I can't see without my laptop!"

The truth of the situation quickly became apparent when Orange Faced Celebrity antique dealer David 'The Hunter' Dickinson began to trade the two gangs and their vehicles. On the Slayer Scooby Gang's inexplicably Atlantic crossing vehicle, Dickinson: "You can see the love this old ice-cream van has encountered - just look at those stains in the back! Could be a bit of a duffer but it's sure to be cheap as chips!"

Posh and Kicks
Rich kid Daphne Blake and her slayer double Buffy Summers tag teamed up against Dickinson. Daphne Blake: "We totally kicked antiquey and orangey butt."

That wasn't the end of their troubles as they still had had The Tangoman to capture.

Giles: "I'd devised this incredible plan that involved Xander and Shaggy luring The Tangoman into a trap. It kinda worked - we ended up trapping both him and Xander and Shaggy."

Waddling
What Giles didn't say was that Xander almost ruined the plan by stopping off for a 'super Shaggy sandwich' despite eating an entire box of dog biscuits only moments earlier. Harris is now walking awkwardly after two days of anal probing to determine if he has a digestive problem. Leaked information lends credence to the theory that he has a colony of worms partying in his intestines. Others suggest the 'freaky beatnik' may have a drugs problem.

Unmasking
Sleuthing twins Velma and Willow unmasked the dread Tangoman. Eyewitness reports quote all eight members of the Scooby Gangs as, in unison, proclaiming: "George Dubya?!"

Unmasked villain Dubya, now in custody with the Watcher's Council, allegedly replied: "And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddlifying kids."

A spokesman for the demon fighting Watcher's Council said that Dubya will be well treated in a chickenwire cage at their high security prison in Herne Bay.