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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #200: Babylon 5 – In the Kingdom of the Blind
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Sep 2017 12:24

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, blackmailed, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘In the Kingdom of the Blind’, and spout our usual nonsense! Byron and his flowing locks are attempting some dirty blackmail, the Centauri Regent has taken to drink and Londo Mollari needs to watch […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #271: That Derby Aroma
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Sep 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller recount their time at the recent Whooverville 9 Doctor Who convention, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:30 — Welcome! 03:26 – News: 03:34 — […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #199: Doctor Who – Oxygen
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Mon, 04 Sep 2017 11:06

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, hypoxiated, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Oxygen’, and spout our usual nonsense! Bill is having a bad suit day, the Doctor is giving her his helmet and the techno-zombies are running rampant. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #270: As Each Doctor Became
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s ‘Power Play’ audio play, discuss when each actor became the Doctor, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 01:59 – News: 02:10 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #198: Babylon 5 – Day of the Dead
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, visited, in front of the Neil Gaiman’s Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Day of the Dead’, and spout our usual nonsense! Zooty has a terrible secret, Lennier has a shadowy visitor, Lochley is trying to establish an identity for herself and Kosh has another […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #269: Jago, Litefoot and AsBill
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Aug 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn have a retrospective on Doctor Who ‘Series 10’, discuss Big Finish’s ‘Jago and Litefoot, Series 4’ audio boxset, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Oscar the Grouch Found Dead Grisly Scene Arrested: Count von Count

Legendary children's entertainer Count von Count was arrested yesterday at the scene of the apparent horrific murder of Oscar T. Grouch. Both muppets starred on popular kid's TV series Sesame Street.

Roving reporter Kermit the Frog stumbled onto the bloody scene to find the dismembered remains of the unpleasant Grouch with the Count unconscious next to the body. Kermit explained: "Well, it's not easy been green - everybody thinks you're always feeling unwell. Well, I guess I thought I'd prove them wrong - I'm not squeamish, I'm always this color. So I decided to hunt the Muppet Serial Killer..."

Two months ago the first incident of what does now appear to be a serial Muppet murder rampage happened at rival kid's TV series Smile Time. Four muppets ('Ratio Hornblower, Polo, Grrl and Grufus) and their human agent Gregor Framkin died in the frenzied attack. Initial suspicion fell on both the Sesame Street regulars and the Telebubbies. Washed up TV presenter Roland Rat published photos of an alleged meeting between the Teletubbies' dogsbody NooNoo and Sesame Street's Mr. Snuffleupagus. Further investigation by the News of the Universes can exclusively reveal that the photos were indeed genuine but do, however, show the two puppets out on a conspiracy free hot date. The News' top technicians have managed to get their hands on the NooNoo's mechanical brain and have dissected it to reveal the sizzling truth of their relationship (more in an upcoming special: Noo Cried Mr. Snuffleupagus).

A blaze at the home of bed fellows Bert and Ernie three weeks ago, that resulted in both their deaths, added an extra barbecued-felt dimension to the inquiry. Initial reports suggested the fire was started after a domestic dispute over a chip pan and how to tell the time but rumours persist that this is merely a smokescreen for a terrible murderous truth. At this time the Children's Television Workshop Police refuse to speculate on any possible connections between this case and that either of Smile Time or Oscar the Grouch. A spokesman for Sesame Street, Big Bird, had only this to say: "Here at Sesame Street we don't let bad things get us down - we sing a happy song. 'Just because Oscar can no longer say scram, and he's being turned into spiced ham. Don't let that get you down...'"

Further wrinkles in the fabric of the Oscar case include the widely reported recent release of the Grouch from the Betty Boo Rehabilitation Centre for Troubled Muppets and Toons. A source close to the organisation told us how Oscar had to be escorted from the building after he allegedly molested Xander Harris in the showers. Police have ruled out Harris as the prime suspect of the Grouch's murder - Harris is known to be still incarcerated in the clinic and fighting the alcohol problem that resulted after he lost an eye and then his ex-fiancée at last year's Annual Sunnydale Apocalypse event.

An anonymous informant has come forward to defend the Count from the charge of murder, citing that the vampiric muppet actually faints on the sight of blood. While this may explain why the Count was found unconscious at the scene it does not rule him out of the murder. A passer-by close to the scene, who also wishes to remain anonymous, reports seeing a shadowy figure shortly before the incident: "... only if me get cookies! Good. Saw funny pale muppet, in shaded alleyway. Evil yellow eyes, nasty eyebrows. Big sharp teeth - good for eating cookies. COOKIES!"

Defence Attorneys for Count von Count today announced that they are looking for any other muppets that match the description. The closest known match is that of their client the Count who is now being held on remand. Early indications are that the trial will be released as a major movie next summer, to be entitled 'Law and Muppets'.