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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #276: Whittaker Calling Orson
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Nov 2017 09:15

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who subjects such as the Thirteenth Doctor’s costume, the 60s and 70s composer Dudley Simpson and director Paddy Russell, review the second season of Stranger Things, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #204: Babylon 5 – And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, inquiring, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari is feeling left out, Lennier has some hot footage and G’Kar wants to guard Londo’s body. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #275: Business is Business
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Ultimate Adventure, the fifth and sixth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episode Timewave, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #203 Doctor Who – The Pyramid at the End of the World
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:00

Summary: The Doctor is trapped in an even more artificial situation than last week, Bill considers the meaning of consent and the Monks have gained god-like powers in the real world. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to enjoy The Pyramid at the End of the World… Vital Links: Staggering Stories. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #274: The Seven Keys to Starbug
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Seven Keys to Doomsday, the third and fourth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episodes Cured and Siliconia, find some general […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #202: Babylon 5 – Phoenix Rising
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, roasted, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Phoenix Rising’, and spout our usual nonsense! Byron is losing control of more than his flowing locks, Garibaldi has a word with Bester and the rogue telepaths are burning bright. But enough of their […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Oscar the Grouch Found Dead Grisly Scene Arrested: Count von Count

Legendary children's entertainer Count von Count was arrested yesterday at the scene of the apparent horrific murder of Oscar T. Grouch. Both muppets starred on popular kid's TV series Sesame Street.

Roving reporter Kermit the Frog stumbled onto the bloody scene to find the dismembered remains of the unpleasant Grouch with the Count unconscious next to the body. Kermit explained: "Well, it's not easy been green - everybody thinks you're always feeling unwell. Well, I guess I thought I'd prove them wrong - I'm not squeamish, I'm always this color. So I decided to hunt the Muppet Serial Killer..."

Two months ago the first incident of what does now appear to be a serial Muppet murder rampage happened at rival kid's TV series Smile Time. Four muppets ('Ratio Hornblower, Polo, Grrl and Grufus) and their human agent Gregor Framkin died in the frenzied attack. Initial suspicion fell on both the Sesame Street regulars and the Telebubbies. Washed up TV presenter Roland Rat published photos of an alleged meeting between the Teletubbies' dogsbody NooNoo and Sesame Street's Mr. Snuffleupagus. Further investigation by the News of the Universes can exclusively reveal that the photos were indeed genuine but do, however, show the two puppets out on a conspiracy free hot date. The News' top technicians have managed to get their hands on the NooNoo's mechanical brain and have dissected it to reveal the sizzling truth of their relationship (more in an upcoming special: Noo Cried Mr. Snuffleupagus).

A blaze at the home of bed fellows Bert and Ernie three weeks ago, that resulted in both their deaths, added an extra barbecued-felt dimension to the inquiry. Initial reports suggested the fire was started after a domestic dispute over a chip pan and how to tell the time but rumours persist that this is merely a smokescreen for a terrible murderous truth. At this time the Children's Television Workshop Police refuse to speculate on any possible connections between this case and that either of Smile Time or Oscar the Grouch. A spokesman for Sesame Street, Big Bird, had only this to say: "Here at Sesame Street we don't let bad things get us down - we sing a happy song. 'Just because Oscar can no longer say scram, and he's being turned into spiced ham. Don't let that get you down...'"

Further wrinkles in the fabric of the Oscar case include the widely reported recent release of the Grouch from the Betty Boo Rehabilitation Centre for Troubled Muppets and Toons. A source close to the organisation told us how Oscar had to be escorted from the building after he allegedly molested Xander Harris in the showers. Police have ruled out Harris as the prime suspect of the Grouch's murder - Harris is known to be still incarcerated in the clinic and fighting the alcohol problem that resulted after he lost an eye and then his ex-fiancée at last year's Annual Sunnydale Apocalypse event.

An anonymous informant has come forward to defend the Count from the charge of murder, citing that the vampiric muppet actually faints on the sight of blood. While this may explain why the Count was found unconscious at the scene it does not rule him out of the murder. A passer-by close to the scene, who also wishes to remain anonymous, reports seeing a shadowy figure shortly before the incident: "... only if me get cookies! Good. Saw funny pale muppet, in shaded alleyway. Evil yellow eyes, nasty eyebrows. Big sharp teeth - good for eating cookies. COOKIES!"

Defence Attorneys for Count von Count today announced that they are looking for any other muppets that match the description. The closest known match is that of their client the Count who is now being held on remand. Early indications are that the trial will be released as a major movie next summer, to be entitled 'Law and Muppets'.