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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #265: Wonder Cough
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘The Lie of the Land’ and ‘Empress of Mars’, discuss the 2017 film ‘Wonder Woman’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #193: Doctor Who – Smile
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jun 2017 08:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, emojied, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Smile’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is interfering with a new species, Bill has a decision to make and the Vardy just want everybody to be happy. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #264: Stimulated Reality
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 03 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steve Brittain review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Extemis’ and ‘The Pyramid at the End of the World’, discuss the Big Finish boxset ‘Charlotte Pollard, Series Two’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #192: Babylon 5 – Between the Darkness and the Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 May 2017 08:33

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, sprung, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 episode Between the Darkness and the Light, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan is sporting a fetching head band, Garibaldi is looking for mercy and Ivanova is feeling crushed. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #263: Musical Helmets
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 20 May 2017 14:03

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Knock Knock’ and ‘Oxygen’, tell of their recent visit to the Doctor Who studios in Cardiff and the Capitol 2 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #191: Doctor Who – The Pilot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 May 2017 09:46

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, puddled, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 premiere episode, ‘The Pilot’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is a lecturing security guard, Bill is fattening up the locals and Heather has a very moist fixation. But enough of their problems, please […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Father Christmas Exposed Christmas: Who's the Master now?

The shocking truth of Father Christmas was revealed yesterday when a source close to the festive icon disclosed the latest criminal act, and more besides.

It has long been a speculated how Father Christmas manages to visit so many millions of homes each year in the space of about 24 hours. Magic is the generally accepted truth and The News of the Universes can exclusively confirm this to be the case and tell the world that Father Christmas is actually an ancient god.

String of Aliases
Bad god Father Christmas has a long history of altering his name and appearance to flee from the law. His first known appearance was as risqué pagan god Woden, known for distributing his filthy gifts in mid-winter. The next recorded sighting was as St. Nicholas, baby eating Bishop of Myra who wormed his way into becoming the patron saint of children (not to be confused with St. Michael, the patron saint of underwear). Reports of St. Nicholas' visits to Holland include the figure known only as Black Peter, who would accompany Father Christmas and torture naughty children and politicians (though the latter are known to have enjoyed the depraved acts). Other known aliases include Sinta Class, Kriss Kringle, Santa Claus and Gary Glitter.

Old Nic
Faced with a population that is rapidly increasing beyond the six billion mark, Father Christmas was allegedly having trouble coping. Even his army of Rent-a-Santa agents planted at every shopping centre in the western world, ready to take over when the time is right, are not enough.

"It's been a nightmare!" said a source close to Christmas who wished to keep her anonymity. "Last year we missed out George W. Bush and look what it did to him!"

In a desperate bid to regain control of the festive period Father Christmas has found a new way to beat the clock - with a stolen TARDIS.

The New Daddy
Former owner of the TARDIS, a renegade Time Lord previously known as The Master, has found himself, in all fifteen incarnations, the unwilling slave of Christmas.

"Who's the Master now? It's me, big bad Father Christmas." the tyrannical festive plumper is reported as saying, before finishing with "Christmas is going to make you his bitch!"

Our inside source at the Lapland cave hide-out in the Korvatunturi mountains says this of the day: "I've haven't seen him this happy since he enslaved the elven people! We certainly got through a lot of whips that year!"

Glue Factory
With no need for his trusty old reindeer Christmas has taken up recycling in a typically brutal fashion - he certainly won't need to buy sellotape for a while. A glut of mounted reindeer heads has caused widespread panic in taxidermy circles. Phil Stiff of the Association of Taxidermists comments: "If these prices keep dropping we're going to be stuffed."

Horn of Plenty
With his new association with the Master, perhaps even more shocking than his deal in the 1950's with one time cocaine peddlers Coca Cola, Christmas has hinted to the universe his true intentions. Insiders suggest he is planning to make the world economy collapse and cause the earth to fill up with tacky gifts and killer plastic trees.