Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #369: Greatest Show in the Car Park
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 13 Jun 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Greatest Show in the Galaxy and the 2021 series The Nevers, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:45 – News: 01:54 — MGM: Swallowed by […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #368: Back in the Studio
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 30 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor Adventures – Ravagers and the 2021 film The Mitchells vs. the Machines, discuss the Ninth Doctor’s best TV moments, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #367: Furthering Lucie Bleedin’ Miller
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: The Further Adventures of Lucie Miller and the 2020 film Palm Springs, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #366: All Out of Sanity
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 May 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Doctor Who: Stranded 2 and the 1988 film John Carpenter’s They Live, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:39 — Welcome! 02:28 – News: 02:41 — Big Finish: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #365: One a Day Keeps the Irregulars Away
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 18 Apr 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Crimson Horror and Netflix’s first season of The Irregulars, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 04:04 – News: 04:17 — Blake’s […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #364: Ringstone Round
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 04 Apr 2021 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Time Warrior and 1979’s Quatermass series, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:00 — Welcome! 01:52 – News: 02:03 […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Father Christmas Exposed Christmas: Who's the Master now?

The shocking truth of Father Christmas was revealed yesterday when a source close to the festive icon disclosed the latest criminal act, and more besides.

It has long been a speculated how Father Christmas manages to visit so many millions of homes each year in the space of about 24 hours. Magic is the generally accepted truth and The News of the Universes can exclusively confirm this to be the case and tell the world that Father Christmas is actually an ancient god.

String of Aliases
Bad god Father Christmas has a long history of altering his name and appearance to flee from the law. His first known appearance was as risqué pagan god Woden, known for distributing his filthy gifts in mid-winter. The next recorded sighting was as St. Nicholas, baby eating Bishop of Myra who wormed his way into becoming the patron saint of children (not to be confused with St. Michael, the patron saint of underwear). Reports of St. Nicholas' visits to Holland include the figure known only as Black Peter, who would accompany Father Christmas and torture naughty children and politicians (though the latter are known to have enjoyed the depraved acts). Other known aliases include Sinta Class, Kriss Kringle, Santa Claus and Gary Glitter.

Old Nic
Faced with a population that is rapidly increasing beyond the six billion mark, Father Christmas was allegedly having trouble coping. Even his army of Rent-a-Santa agents planted at every shopping centre in the western world, ready to take over when the time is right, are not enough.

"It's been a nightmare!" said a source close to Christmas who wished to keep her anonymity. "Last year we missed out George W. Bush and look what it did to him!"

In a desperate bid to regain control of the festive period Father Christmas has found a new way to beat the clock - with a stolen TARDIS.

The New Daddy
Former owner of the TARDIS, a renegade Time Lord previously known as The Master, has found himself, in all fifteen incarnations, the unwilling slave of Christmas.

"Who's the Master now? It's me, big bad Father Christmas." the tyrannical festive plumper is reported as saying, before finishing with "Christmas is going to make you his bitch!"

Our inside source at the Lapland cave hide-out in the Korvatunturi mountains says this of the day: "I've haven't seen him this happy since he enslaved the elven people! We certainly got through a lot of whips that year!"

Glue Factory
With no need for his trusty old reindeer Christmas has taken up recycling in a typically brutal fashion - he certainly won't need to buy sellotape for a while. A glut of mounted reindeer heads has caused widespread panic in taxidermy circles. Phil Stiff of the Association of Taxidermists comments: "If these prices keep dropping we're going to be stuffed."

Horn of Plenty
With his new association with the Master, perhaps even more shocking than his deal in the 1950's with one time cocaine peddlers Coca Cola, Christmas has hinted to the universe his true intentions. Insiders suggest he is planning to make the world economy collapse and cause the earth to fill up with tacky gifts and killer plastic trees.