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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #282: Lighting Up Leicester
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Feb 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2013 Big Finish Doctor Who 50th anniversary story ‘The Light at the End’, discuss their visit to the Doctor Who convention ‘Science of the Time Lords’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #210: Babylon 5 – The Wheel of Fire
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 04 Feb 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, bargaining, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘The Wheel of Fire’, and spout our usual nonsense! G’Kar has become a cult, Delenn has a parasite and Lochley finally does something. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #281: Ruler of Swindon (or maybe Sweden?)
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 Jan 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss our Top Ten 2017 Films, review the 2017 Big Finish Doctor Who boxset ‘The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield, Vol. 4 – Ruler of the Universe’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #209: Doctor Who – The Eaters of Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 21 Jan 2018 10:55

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, consuming, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘The Eaters of Light’, and spout our usual nonsense! Bill has fallen down a hole (again), Nardole is getting inked up and Kar is fending off a demon. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #280: Welcome to the Annual Predictability
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 Jan 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller discuss Capaldi’s best Doctor Who bits, review the film Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2018, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2017, find some general news, […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #208: Babylon 5 – The Fall of Centauri Prime
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 07 Jan 2018 10:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, coronated, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘The Fall of Centauri Prime’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari has a fetching new outfit that he doesn’t want, Delenn and Lennier are wrecked and Vir suddenly has a large supply of Ferrero […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Plungers at Midnight Flaming Pier

Chaos erupted at the famous Palace Pier in Brighton, England, yesterday when a savage turf war broke out between the Daleks and Metal Mickey.

Dusty Bins
TV has-beens the Daleks are believed to be attempting to stage a comeback in this their fortieth year of being trapped on Earth. For more than two decades they have been eeking out a living as parodies of their former selves on such comedy programmes as Spike Milligan's Q, The Lenny Henry Show and The Five Doctors. In recent years times have been even worse for the fallen conquerors who have been forced to sell out to Kit-Kat and, most recently, act as novelty bubble gum dispensers at Brighton and Skegness seasides.

At a hastily arranged street corner fundraiser event, three months ago, the only indication of their future plans were found in the subtle subtext of their joint chant: "You will obey! Big Issue! Big Issue! BIG ISSUE!!"

Death by Face Cream
A top celebrity shrink told The News of the Universes how the Daleks have failed to get over the surprise death of their leader, Davros, in 1997. Even now details are sketchy but it is widely believed the dermatologically challenged scientist failed to read the instructions on a bottle of Oil of Olay and coated himself in fifty-eight tubs of the skin cream. The inquest found that his alien physiology reacted with the large quantity of cream, sending him into anaphylactic shock. He was found three weeks later by his next door neighbour, having slipped completely down into his mobile commode and drowning in this own filth.

Metal Monkey
Early 80's TV giant Metal Mickey has had a similarly hard time since his show was cancelled almost twenty years ago. Unable to get work, he was convicted in 1994 of impersonating a London postbox in a bid to steal any money or valuables he could find in the letters and packages. The harsh sentence put down by the court was that Mickey must act as the stunt double for Mr. Blobby, a fate that campaigners thought bad enough even without having to work alongside Noel Edmonds. Mickey was quoted as saying "Boogie, boogie, er, Blobby, Blobby, Blobby, my little fruitbat."

After a torrid affair with K-9, whom he once famously referred to as his "robo-bitch", Mickey was admitted to clinic in an attempt to kick his 20-a-day Atomic Thunderbuster habit.

Flaming Pier
Tensions between the Daleks and Metal Mickey have been increasing in the past few months as they both attempted to work the same seaside attraction circuits as amusing items for the tourists to be photographed alongside. Yesterday evening this broke out into open warfare at the end of Palace Pier in Brighton. One eyewitness explained that it began when a tourist with a wide-angle lensed camera asked for a picture of both a Dalek and Metal Mickey at the same time. Further reports suggest that it was the Daleks' agent who caused the problem by refusing to allow the Daleks to share the fee with Mickey.

At least one Dalek is confirmed to have died in the battle and Metal Mickey has not been seen since the ensuing blaze that severely damaged the historic landmark. Police divers are combing the area but say their search is hampered by the large quantity of old supermarket trolleys and Ford Escorts littering the Brighton coastline.