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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #276: Whittaker Calling Orson
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Nov 2017 09:15

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss Doctor Who subjects such as the Thirteenth Doctor’s costume, the 60s and 70s composer Dudley Simpson and director Paddy Russell, review the second season of Stranger Things, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #204: Babylon 5 – And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 12 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, inquiring, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari is feeling left out, Lennier has some hot footage and G’Kar wants to guard Londo’s body. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #275: Business is Business
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Nov 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Ultimate Adventure, the fifth and sixth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episode Timewave, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #203 Doctor Who – The Pyramid at the End of the World
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Oct 2017 10:00

Summary: The Doctor is trapped in an even more artificial situation than last week, Bill considers the meaning of consent and the Monks have gained god-like powers in the real world. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to enjoy The Pyramid at the End of the World… Vital Links: Staggering Stories. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #274: The Seven Keys to Starbug
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Crumbly, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review Big Finish’s version of the Doctor Who stage play The Seven Keys to Doomsday, the third and fourth episodes of Star Trek: Discovery and the new Red Dwarf episodes Cured and Siliconia, find some general […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #202: Babylon 5 – Phoenix Rising
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Oct 2017 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, roasted, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘Phoenix Rising’, and spout our usual nonsense! Byron is losing control of more than his flowing locks, Garibaldi has a word with Bester and the rogue telepaths are burning bright. But enough of their […]

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News of the Universes Alf Roland

By Alf Roland
Chief Pan-Universal Correspondent

Plungers at Midnight Flaming Pier

Chaos erupted at the famous Palace Pier in Brighton, England, yesterday when a savage turf war broke out between the Daleks and Metal Mickey.

Dusty Bins
TV has-beens the Daleks are believed to be attempting to stage a comeback in this their fortieth year of being trapped on Earth. For more than two decades they have been eeking out a living as parodies of their former selves on such comedy programmes as Spike Milligan's Q, The Lenny Henry Show and The Five Doctors. In recent years times have been even worse for the fallen conquerors who have been forced to sell out to Kit-Kat and, most recently, act as novelty bubble gum dispensers at Brighton and Skegness seasides.

At a hastily arranged street corner fundraiser event, three months ago, the only indication of their future plans were found in the subtle subtext of their joint chant: "You will obey! Big Issue! Big Issue! BIG ISSUE!!"

Death by Face Cream
A top celebrity shrink told The News of the Universes how the Daleks have failed to get over the surprise death of their leader, Davros, in 1997. Even now details are sketchy but it is widely believed the dermatologically challenged scientist failed to read the instructions on a bottle of Oil of Olay and coated himself in fifty-eight tubs of the skin cream. The inquest found that his alien physiology reacted with the large quantity of cream, sending him into anaphylactic shock. He was found three weeks later by his next door neighbour, having slipped completely down into his mobile commode and drowning in this own filth.

Metal Monkey
Early 80's TV giant Metal Mickey has had a similarly hard time since his show was cancelled almost twenty years ago. Unable to get work, he was convicted in 1994 of impersonating a London postbox in a bid to steal any money or valuables he could find in the letters and packages. The harsh sentence put down by the court was that Mickey must act as the stunt double for Mr. Blobby, a fate that campaigners thought bad enough even without having to work alongside Noel Edmonds. Mickey was quoted as saying "Boogie, boogie, er, Blobby, Blobby, Blobby, my little fruitbat."

After a torrid affair with K-9, whom he once famously referred to as his "robo-bitch", Mickey was admitted to clinic in an attempt to kick his 20-a-day Atomic Thunderbuster habit.

Flaming Pier
Tensions between the Daleks and Metal Mickey have been increasing in the past few months as they both attempted to work the same seaside attraction circuits as amusing items for the tourists to be photographed alongside. Yesterday evening this broke out into open warfare at the end of Palace Pier in Brighton. One eyewitness explained that it began when a tourist with a wide-angle lensed camera asked for a picture of both a Dalek and Metal Mickey at the same time. Further reports suggest that it was the Daleks' agent who caused the problem by refusing to allow the Daleks to share the fee with Mickey.

At least one Dalek is confirmed to have died in the battle and Metal Mickey has not been seen since the ensuing blaze that severely damaged the historic landmark. Police divers are combing the area but say their search is hampered by the large quantity of old supermarket trolleys and Ford Escorts littering the Brighton coastline.