Tony Gallichan is Mildly Perturbed by... Adam J Purcell
You may have noticed that at the bottom of the list of musings by yours truly, that the above name appears, but without an active link. Some have suggested that this indicates that I don't actually exist. Others simply wish it. They think that Purcell face is using my name as a pseudonym.
Hah! How wrong can folks be.
Deal with it.
So, why wait until now to write the musing? Two reasons. Firstly, it's our second birthday and I thought what the hell. But more importantly, I've needed the time to collect the evidence. Now I have it, I can alert the world!!!
You see, Adam J Purcell, in true Bond villain tradition, wants to rule the world. No, really. He does!
When I first met El Presidente, I had got myself into a little spot of bother. Purcell was somewhat disappointed that I didn't go on the run and have a fiery showdown with the authorities, preferably ending with a shoot-out, freeze frame and fade to monochrome.
This, in itself, was mildly perturbing.
However, as the years went by, other, even more disturbing things have come to light.
The Risk games where he easily dominates the world. Easily? Eagerly! (However, he still hasn't beaten me when we play on two boards at once - "Sliders" Risk - you should try it. Adds a whole new dimension to the game, LOL), The admission that Darth Vader was his childhood hero. His favourite music? The Imperial March by John Bloody Williams. His favourite phrase from the Palitoy talking Dalek - "Attack! Attack! Attack!".The carnage he cheerfully causes in the RPG. (I know, I know, I can talk - after all, at least Purcell face didn't almost destroy the universe, oh no. That was me. Oopsies.). The way he mysteriously goes from company to company infiltrating their computer systems and networks. The way that, when anyone would exclaim: "Oh God!" and a soft, menacing voice would reply, "yes?". The small, white long furred cat - admittedly it's only a toy one, but the thought is there. The way that whenever a camera clicks and you get the photos developed you end up with him, somehow in frame, smiling unnervingly with one hand raised in presidential greeting. And of course, the propaganda poster:
Then there's all the technology. The palmtop, the laptop, the tricorder thingy, the other thing that goes "bleep!" and all the rest. Let's face facts, there's more computing power in that house then even NASA!
Talking of which, I'm sure I heard him mutter something about not allowing a beagle to reach its objective..... Only now does it make sense.
But the main reason I suspected him was the underground base. You know the sort of thing - monorail, workers in overalls and coloured hard hats, which at first got us thinking he had a thing about the Village People, the henchman with the unusual quirk - NOT me, the pirhana pool, the ICBM, etc.
That sort of thing can tend to get one noticed.
You ask him about why someone hasn't been seen for a while and this odd smile crosses his face, a slightly nervous laugh occurs and he changes the subject - but not without a pithy comment.
Another reason to warn the world right now is that there is currently nothing to stand in his way. El Presidente's contempt for Dubya is palpable. And rightly so. But this means Purcell MUST realise that if he makes his move now, he will win. Totally. Utterly. Completely.
I don't know about you, but I'm afraid.
So, Coalition....time to bring your war against terror to Crawley. I mean, the place could do with a facelift. Namely being razed off the face of the Earth and being replaced by Adams New World Order.
I'm off to start the counter - revolution.
Tony Gallichan has been offered control of Australasia and the Channel Islands when Purcell takes over. Viva El Presidente!
Don't forget that you can discuss this, even tell us your own stories, in the Musings: The Comeback Forum!