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Staggering Stories Podcast #342: Hinchcliffe Has Been Assigned
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 31 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the Doctor Who Season 14 Blu-ray boxset, discuss Sapphire and Steel, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:03 — Welcome! 02:05 – News: 02:11 — Doctor Who: Double Dip of […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #341: Disco Countermeasures
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Counter-Measures: Series 3 and The Mandalorian: Season 1, discuss what make Star Wars Star Wars, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:54 — Welcome! 02:05 – […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #340: The Fun Makers
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Sun Makers and Red Dwarf: The Promised Land, have a 30 second recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:19 — Welcome! 02:37 – News: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #339: Environs of Isolation
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Apr 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Robots of Death and Jodie Whittaker’s 2011 film Attack the Block, have a 30 second recommendation, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #338: The Chronic Hysteresis Edition
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Apr 2020 08:00

Summary: Apologies for the poor audio quality in this first lockdown episode. Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the animated release of Doctor Who: The Faceless ones and discuss the first season of Star Trek: Picard, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #234: Doctor Who – Praxeus
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Mar 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Keith Dunn and Steven Clare sit down, plasticed, in front of 2020 Doctor Who episode ‘Praxeus’, and spout our usual nonsense! Yaz is teleporting before thinking, Ryan gets a pat down, Sam Bishop is undercover as Jake and the Doctor has split up. But enough of their problems, please […]

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Tony

Tony Gallichan is Mildly Perturbed by... His Friend's Next Door Neighbour But One


Sometimes, just sometimes I meet a person that will do something that will make my jaw drop. (I know, a lot of people include me in that category).

Take my friend's next door neighbour but one, a lady we shall call Bert.

You may have noticed, elsewhere on this site, my steaming colleague, Mr. Purcell's rant against the computer phobes. This is similar...except it's about the joys of cable television. I have cable television, (from the worst company in Britain, Telewest). So does my friend, (we shall call her Cecil). So does Bert.

Last Thursday, we lost all reception - there had been an outage somewhere. Along to Cecil's house comes Bert. I was already there...I tend to drop in for coffee every evening - ahh....living life to the full, lol. So, in comes Bert and she starts ranting about the television being off. Dilbert's Loud Howard has nothing on her. If she phones you can actually hear her talking down the street and through the window....she simply doesn't need a phone. You should try watching a football match (shudders and spits) with her......dear God....I simply cannot describe what its like...all ooohs and aaahs...all on a volume setting of eleven.

Cecil was talking to her son - lets call him Agnes. Right in the middle of it, Bert loudly starts talking right over the top of them. I sat there, watching this in slack jawed amazement.

Then it started...

"If the cable is off, can I still watch a video?"

"But I can still see BBC1, can't I?"

"My neighbour hasn't got cable...I'll go to him and see if its working." (seriously, she thought that as he didn't have cable it might be working for him!!!!!!)

Then the classic..

"I can still watch one sky programme and record another, can't I?"

 

Now, some of these might seem like fairly innocent questions. However, she has been asking them every week for the PAST FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Of course, Cecil also comes out with some howlers....

Recently has seen the sad death of Professor Kelly, the MOD scientist put under so much pressure from Blair's government that the poor man couldn't take it anymore. (or so it seems). Cecil's reaction to hearing the news was to wonder if they were talking about "Dickie Dexter", the man from Match Of The Day.

MOD you see...it confused her. And it turns out she actually meant Des Lynham.

 

You know, sometimes it gives me a headache thinking down to the level of my neighbours.....

 

Tony Gallichan admits he is an intellectual snob - but without the intellect bit...

 

Don't forget that you can discuss this, even tell us your own stories, in the Musings: The Comeback Forum!