Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #265: Wonder Cough
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 17 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘The Lie of the Land’ and ‘Empress of Mars’, discuss the 2017 film ‘Wonder Woman’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #193: Doctor Who – Smile
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Jun 2017 08:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, emojied, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘Smile’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is interfering with a new species, Bill has a decision to make and the Vardy just want everybody to be happy. But enough of their problems, […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #264: Stimulated Reality
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 03 Jun 2017 16:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steve Brittain review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Extemis’ and ‘The Pyramid at the End of the World’, discuss the Big Finish boxset ‘Charlotte Pollard, Series Two’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #192: Babylon 5 – Between the Darkness and the Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 May 2017 08:33

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, sprung, in front of the Season 4 Babylon 5 episode Between the Darkness and the Light, and spout our usual nonsense! Sheridan is sporting a fetching head band, Garibaldi is looking for mercy and Ivanova is feeling crushed. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #263: Musical Helmets
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 20 May 2017 14:03

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2017 Doctor Who episodes ‘Knock Knock’ and ‘Oxygen’, tell of their recent visit to the Doctor Who studios in Cardiff and the Capitol 2 Doctor Who convention, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #191: Doctor Who – The Pilot
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 May 2017 09:46

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, puddled, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 premiere episode, ‘The Pilot’, and spout our usual nonsense! This Doctor is a lecturing security guard, Bill is fattening up the locals and Heather has a very moist fixation. But enough of their problems, please […]

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Tony

Tony Gallichan is Mildly Perturbed by... His Friend's Next Door Neighbour But One


Sometimes, just sometimes I meet a person that will do something that will make my jaw drop. (I know, a lot of people include me in that category).

Take my friend's next door neighbour but one, a lady we shall call Bert.

You may have noticed, elsewhere on this site, my steaming colleague, Mr. Purcell's rant against the computer phobes. This is similar...except it's about the joys of cable television. I have cable television, (from the worst company in Britain, Telewest). So does my friend, (we shall call her Cecil). So does Bert.

Last Thursday, we lost all reception - there had been an outage somewhere. Along to Cecil's house comes Bert. I was already there...I tend to drop in for coffee every evening - ahh....living life to the full, lol. So, in comes Bert and she starts ranting about the television being off. Dilbert's Loud Howard has nothing on her. If she phones you can actually hear her talking down the street and through the window....she simply doesn't need a phone. You should try watching a football match (shudders and spits) with her......dear God....I simply cannot describe what its like...all ooohs and aaahs...all on a volume setting of eleven.

Cecil was talking to her son - lets call him Agnes. Right in the middle of it, Bert loudly starts talking right over the top of them. I sat there, watching this in slack jawed amazement.

Then it started...

"If the cable is off, can I still watch a video?"

"But I can still see BBC1, can't I?"

"My neighbour hasn't got cable...I'll go to him and see if its working." (seriously, she thought that as he didn't have cable it might be working for him!!!!!!)

Then the classic..

"I can still watch one sky programme and record another, can't I?"

 

Now, some of these might seem like fairly innocent questions. However, she has been asking them every week for the PAST FIVE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Of course, Cecil also comes out with some howlers....

Recently has seen the sad death of Professor Kelly, the MOD scientist put under so much pressure from Blair's government that the poor man couldn't take it anymore. (or so it seems). Cecil's reaction to hearing the news was to wonder if they were talking about "Dickie Dexter", the man from Match Of The Day.

MOD you see...it confused her. And it turns out she actually meant Des Lynham.

 

You know, sometimes it gives me a headache thinking down to the level of my neighbours.....

 

Tony Gallichan admits he is an intellectual snob - but without the intellect bit...

 

Don't forget that you can discuss this, even tell us your own stories, in the Musings: The Comeback Forum!