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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #412: Mr Eccleston Goes to IKEA
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Feb 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review the 2001 Christopher Eccleston film ‘The Others’ and Big Finish boxset Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor Adventures – Hidden Depths, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #411: Slasher Sylvester
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2020 Sylvester McCoy film ‘The Owners’ and the 2022 Discworld film ‘The Amazing Maurice’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:33 — Welcome! 02:32- News: 02:38 — Wednesday: More […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #410: Great Balls of Crystal
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 08 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare discuss the Doctor Who Christmas and New Year specials, play a game, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2023, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2022, find some general news, and a […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #409: Festive Muppetry
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: Blood on Santa’s Claw (Big Finish) and the 1992 film The Muppet Christmas Carol, find some general news, play a game, pull some crackers and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #408: Bacon and Kroll Sandwich
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: The Power of Kroll and the 2022 Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 04:40- News: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #407: Victorian Mysteries
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Nov 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s The Paternoster Gang: Heritage 2 and the 2022 film Enola Holmes 2, play a Doctor Who game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:11 — Welcome! 01:52- News: […]

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The Cre'at Club

Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest

Leaking from the mind of Martinus Scriblerus


You can also listen to the Narrated Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest as Ogg Vorbis (661 KB) or MP3 (715 KB).

"Know your enemy," thought Mr Dalek as he settled in front of the television on Saturday night.

"And now instead of our usual programmes we have the Eurovision Song Contest," said the announcer.

"We'll see about that," thought Mr Dalek as he elevated and set off for Belgrade. Moments later he swooped down on the concert hall and zapped Terry Wogan. Next he zapped the judges with a cry of "Null points!" Hovering through the dressing rooms he zapped each act in turn before finishing off with the orchestra and dancers. Mr Dalek left the concert hall, pausing only to zap Terry Wogan again on the way out. "That's for having two Doctors on your telethon last year!" he shouted, and zapped him once more for luck.

At zapper point Mr Dalek explained to the BBC technician that he wouldn't be getting anything more from Belgrade and that this would be an ideal opportunity to show 'Silence in the Library'. "While you're at it you might as well set up the next episode to follow. I hate waiting all week for a two-parter."

Mr Dalek flew home as fast as he could and settled in front or the television again. A rather nervous announcer came on. "Because of the unusual events in Belgrade we are unable to bring you the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. Instead we have a treat for Doctor Who fans: a double episode featuring your favourite Time Lord in 'The Daleks of Manhattan'."

Mr Dalek thought for a moment then zapped his television.

The End

Mr. Dalek