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Staggering Stories Podcast #354: Battle Beyond the Creature from the Pits
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Nov 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Creature from the Pit and the 1980 film Battle Beyond the Stars, discuss a couple of recent episodes of The Mandalorian, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #353: Holmesian Horror
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 01 Nov 2020 08:43

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: All-Consuming Fire and the 2020 film Enola Holmes, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 01:39 – News: 01:49 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #352: Animated Ensigns
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 18 Oct 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Pest Control and the first season of Star Trek: Lower Decks, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:56 — Welcome! 01:49 – News: 01:58 — […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #351: Fury of the Fantasy Films
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 04 Oct 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Fury from the Deep and the 1982 film The Sword and the Sorcerer, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:20 — Welcome! 02:33 – News: 02:46 — Doctor Who: New York Comic […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #350: Masters of Beasts
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Sep 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Curse of Peladon and the 1982 film The Beastmaster, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:22 — Welcome! 02:16 – News: 02:29 […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #349: When Machines Get Murderous
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 06 Sep 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The War Machines and the 1973 film Westworld, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:24 — Welcome! 02:21 – News: 02:33 — Doctor Who: Troughton double […]

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The Cre'at Club

Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest

Leaking from the mind of Martinus Scriblerus


You can also listen to the Narrated Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest as Ogg Vorbis (661 KB) or MP3 (715 KB).

"Know your enemy," thought Mr Dalek as he settled in front of the television on Saturday night.

"And now instead of our usual programmes we have the Eurovision Song Contest," said the announcer.

"We'll see about that," thought Mr Dalek as he elevated and set off for Belgrade. Moments later he swooped down on the concert hall and zapped Terry Wogan. Next he zapped the judges with a cry of "Null points!" Hovering through the dressing rooms he zapped each act in turn before finishing off with the orchestra and dancers. Mr Dalek left the concert hall, pausing only to zap Terry Wogan again on the way out. "That's for having two Doctors on your telethon last year!" he shouted, and zapped him once more for luck.

At zapper point Mr Dalek explained to the BBC technician that he wouldn't be getting anything more from Belgrade and that this would be an ideal opportunity to show 'Silence in the Library'. "While you're at it you might as well set up the next episode to follow. I hate waiting all week for a two-parter."

Mr Dalek flew home as fast as he could and settled in front or the television again. A rather nervous announcer came on. "Because of the unusual events in Belgrade we are unable to bring you the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. Instead we have a treat for Doctor Who fans: a double episode featuring your favourite Time Lord in 'The Daleks of Manhattan'."

Mr Dalek thought for a moment then zapped his television.

The End

Mr. Dalek