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Staggering Stories Podcast #342: Hinchcliffe Has Been Assigned
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 31 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the Doctor Who Season 14 Blu-ray boxset, discuss Sapphire and Steel, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:03 — Welcome! 02:05 – News: 02:11 — Doctor Who: Double Dip of […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #341: Disco Countermeasures
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s Counter-Measures: Series 3 and The Mandalorian: Season 1, discuss what make Star Wars Star Wars, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:54 — Welcome! 02:05 – […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #340: The Fun Makers
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 May 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Sun Makers and Red Dwarf: The Promised Land, have a 30 second recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:19 — Welcome! 02:37 – News: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #339: Environs of Isolation
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Apr 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: The Robots of Death and Jodie Whittaker’s 2011 film Attack the Block, have a 30 second recommendation, play a game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #338: The Chronic Hysteresis Edition
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 05 Apr 2020 08:00

Summary: Apologies for the poor audio quality in this first lockdown episode. Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review the animated release of Doctor Who: The Faceless ones and discuss the first season of Star Trek: Picard, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #234: Doctor Who – Praxeus
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Mar 2020 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Keith Dunn and Steven Clare sit down, plasticed, in front of 2020 Doctor Who episode ‘Praxeus’, and spout our usual nonsense! Yaz is teleporting before thinking, Ryan gets a pat down, Sam Bishop is undercover as Jake and the Doctor has split up. But enough of their problems, please […]

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The Cre'at Club

Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest

Leaking from the mind of Martinus Scriblerus


You can also listen to the Narrated Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest as Ogg Vorbis (661 KB) or MP3 (715 KB).

"Know your enemy," thought Mr Dalek as he settled in front of the television on Saturday night.

"And now instead of our usual programmes we have the Eurovision Song Contest," said the announcer.

"We'll see about that," thought Mr Dalek as he elevated and set off for Belgrade. Moments later he swooped down on the concert hall and zapped Terry Wogan. Next he zapped the judges with a cry of "Null points!" Hovering through the dressing rooms he zapped each act in turn before finishing off with the orchestra and dancers. Mr Dalek left the concert hall, pausing only to zap Terry Wogan again on the way out. "That's for having two Doctors on your telethon last year!" he shouted, and zapped him once more for luck.

At zapper point Mr Dalek explained to the BBC technician that he wouldn't be getting anything more from Belgrade and that this would be an ideal opportunity to show 'Silence in the Library'. "While you're at it you might as well set up the next episode to follow. I hate waiting all week for a two-parter."

Mr Dalek flew home as fast as he could and settled in front or the television again. A rather nervous announcer came on. "Because of the unusual events in Belgrade we are unable to bring you the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. Instead we have a treat for Doctor Who fans: a double episode featuring your favourite Time Lord in 'The Daleks of Manhattan'."

Mr Dalek thought for a moment then zapped his television.

The End

Mr. Dalek