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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #335: The Haunting of Gallifrey One
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 23 Feb 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and friends review Doctor Who: Can You Hear Me? and The Haunting of Villa Diodati, get some views on the recent Gallifrey One convention, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:07 — Welcome! 03:59 – Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #231: Doctor Who – Orphan 55
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 16 Feb 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell and Keith Dunn sit down, lectured, in front of 2020 Doctor Who episode ‘Orphan 55’, and spout our usual nonsense! Vilma is calling out for her Benni, Ryan has reverted to thumb sucking and the Doctor has taken over the laundry room. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #334: Fugitive of the Federation
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 09 Feb 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: Fugitive of the Judoon and Praxeus, discuss the first two episodes of Star Trek: Picard, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:38 – […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #230: Doctor Who – Spyfall, Part Two
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 Feb 2020 12:58

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, shrunken, in front of 2020 Doctor Who episode ‘Spyfall, Part Two’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Master has become a Nazi, Graham has some dangerous shoes and the Doctor is picking up women throughout time. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #333: Cillit Bang’s Night of Terror
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 26 Jan 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn review Doctor Who: Orphan 55 and Nikola Telsa’s Night of Terror, discuss Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ Dracula, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:47 — Welcome! 01:21 – News: 01:33 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #229: Doctor Who – Spyfall, Part One
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 19 Jan 2020 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, driven, in front of 2020 Doctor Who episode ‘Spyfall, Part One’, and spout our usual nonsense! C has a headache, the fam go to a party and O has a secret. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to enjoy Spyfall, […]

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The Cre'at Club

Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest

Leaking from the mind of Martinus Scriblerus


You can also listen to the Narrated Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest as Ogg Vorbis (661 KB) or MP3 (715 KB).

"Know your enemy," thought Mr Dalek as he settled in front of the television on Saturday night.

"And now instead of our usual programmes we have the Eurovision Song Contest," said the announcer.

"We'll see about that," thought Mr Dalek as he elevated and set off for Belgrade. Moments later he swooped down on the concert hall and zapped Terry Wogan. Next he zapped the judges with a cry of "Null points!" Hovering through the dressing rooms he zapped each act in turn before finishing off with the orchestra and dancers. Mr Dalek left the concert hall, pausing only to zap Terry Wogan again on the way out. "That's for having two Doctors on your telethon last year!" he shouted, and zapped him once more for luck.

At zapper point Mr Dalek explained to the BBC technician that he wouldn't be getting anything more from Belgrade and that this would be an ideal opportunity to show 'Silence in the Library'. "While you're at it you might as well set up the next episode to follow. I hate waiting all week for a two-parter."

Mr Dalek flew home as fast as he could and settled in front or the television again. A rather nervous announcer came on. "Because of the unusual events in Belgrade we are unable to bring you the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. Instead we have a treat for Doctor Who fans: a double episode featuring your favourite Time Lord in 'The Daleks of Manhattan'."

Mr Dalek thought for a moment then zapped his television.

The End

Mr. Dalek