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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #311: An Earthly Marvel
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 24 Mar 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn review the Big Finish Doctor Who stories An Earthly Child and Relative Dimensions, discuss the 2019 Captain Marvel film, talk about media we’ve been consuming, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:44 — Welcome! 01:35 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #226: Doctor Who – The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Mar 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, forgetting, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos’, and spout our usual nonsense! Paktraki’s memory is entirely plot driven, Graham is out for revenge and Lady Jane from Lovejoy lost her critical thinking millennia ago. But enough […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #310: Regressive Tendencies
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 10 Mar 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Jean Riddler, Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, take two Classic Doctor Who stories and rewrite them for the modern series, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:11 — Welcome! 02:03 – News: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #225: Doctor Who – It Takes You Away
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 03 Mar 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, mirrored, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘It Takes You Away’, and spout our usual nonsense! Graham cannot give away a sandwich, Ryan is a reluctant babysitter and the Doctor finds it isn’t easy being green. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #309: Merchandise Madness
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 24 Feb 2019 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare discuss their favourite merchandise, take a Classic Doctor Who story and rewrite it for the modern series, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:02 — Welcome! 02:45 – News: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #224: Doctor Who – The Witchfinders
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 17 Feb 2019 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, ducking, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Witchfinders’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor gets herself tied up, Yaz has an encounter with a tentacle monster and Ryan has an unwelcome admirer. But enough of their problems, please sit down […]

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The Cre'at Club

Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest

Leaking from the mind of Martinus Scriblerus


You can also listen to the Narrated Mr. Dalek at the Eurovision Song Contest as Ogg Vorbis (661 KB) or MP3 (715 KB).

"Know your enemy," thought Mr Dalek as he settled in front of the television on Saturday night.

"And now instead of our usual programmes we have the Eurovision Song Contest," said the announcer.

"We'll see about that," thought Mr Dalek as he elevated and set off for Belgrade. Moments later he swooped down on the concert hall and zapped Terry Wogan. Next he zapped the judges with a cry of "Null points!" Hovering through the dressing rooms he zapped each act in turn before finishing off with the orchestra and dancers. Mr Dalek left the concert hall, pausing only to zap Terry Wogan again on the way out. "That's for having two Doctors on your telethon last year!" he shouted, and zapped him once more for luck.

At zapper point Mr Dalek explained to the BBC technician that he wouldn't be getting anything more from Belgrade and that this would be an ideal opportunity to show 'Silence in the Library'. "While you're at it you might as well set up the next episode to follow. I hate waiting all week for a two-parter."

Mr Dalek flew home as fast as he could and settled in front or the television again. A rather nervous announcer came on. "Because of the unusual events in Belgrade we are unable to bring you the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. Instead we have a treat for Doctor Who fans: a double episode featuring your favourite Time Lord in 'The Daleks of Manhattan'."

Mr Dalek thought for a moment then zapped his television.

The End

Mr. Dalek