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Staggering Stories Podcast #411: Slasher Sylvester
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn review the 2020 Sylvester McCoy film ‘The Owners’ and the 2022 Discworld film ‘The Amazing Maurice’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:33 — Welcome! 02:32- News: 02:38 — Wednesday: More […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #410: Great Balls of Crystal
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 08 Jan 2023 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare discuss the Doctor Who Christmas and New Year specials, play a game, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2023, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2022, find some general news, and a […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #409: Festive Muppetry
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: Blood on Santa’s Claw (Big Finish) and the 1992 film The Muppet Christmas Carol, find some general news, play a game, pull some crackers and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #408: Bacon and Kroll Sandwich
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Dec 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Steven Clare review Doctor Who: The Power of Kroll and the 2022 Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:08 — Welcome! 04:40- News: […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #407: Victorian Mysteries
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 27 Nov 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn review Big Finish’s The Paternoster Gang: Heritage 2 and the 2022 film Enola Holmes 2, play a Doctor Who game, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:11 — Welcome! 01:52- News: […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #249: Doctor Who – The Power of the Doctor
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 20 Nov 2022 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, regenerated, in front of 2022 Doctor Who story ‘The Power of the Doctor’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Master is splitting his time, Dan gets it in the face and the Doctor is seeing some old faces. But enough of their problems, please […]

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Buccaneer Chronicles

The Buccaneer Chronicles:
Vampire Mutations

By Karen Dunn (Despite Interference by Keith Dunn, Andy Simpkins, Adam J Purcell and Tony Gallichan)


Chapter Fourteen - The Computer

 

“Password”

"I have seen Macfadyan argue with the Ship when it fails to live up to his expectations. I have seen Captain Curtis thump the food machine when it serves him egg salad instead of the requested tea and crumpets. I have seen Blanche glare at the console when it beeps at her and makes her jump. I have seen all these things and heard them all say the same thing with varying degrees of venom but this is the first time I have ever understood what 'bloody machine' means.”

* You are familiar with me - a password is unnecessary. *

“Password”

Cre'at sighed and wasted a valuable second meeting the machine's request.

“Greetings, Cre'at”

* Greetings. I require your assistance. *

“Ready.”

* Three point seven two kilometres to the east is a Ship. You must make contact. *

“Done.”

* Excellent. *

“It is a very rude machine.”

* I am aware of this. *

“Why would a construction of such high quality use a term such as 'butt out'?”

* My apologies - Blanche has become fond of American soap operas and some of the terms have corrupted the Ship's vocal systems *

“You should repair it - it is most unbecoming.”

* I shall endeavour to do so. *

“Acceptable.”

* Are you able to access the Ship's defence systems? *

“A password is required.”

Cre'at sighed: * The password is 'fluffy'. *

“In what way?”

* You misunderstand. The password is 'fluffy'. *

“But...”

* Just tell it 'fluffy'! *

“Access granted. You should also repair the password generator. Such misunderstandings could prove troublesome.”

* I am aware of this, also. I shall suggest changes. *

“Also acceptable. Instructions?”

* A forcefield is required. It must cover the area from the Ship to include the town. It must exceed the height of the trees. Maximum strength. *

“Done.”

* Excellent. Maintain the forcefield until otherwise instructed. *

“Naturally.”

* Bloody machine... *

Leaving the Psych-comp to its task, Cre'at left the house and zipped back through the trees towards the town.

***

The Tower

Vampire Mutations: Chapter Fifteen