Star Trek: I do not like you, Captain Kirk

Written by Karen Dunn

I do not like you, Captain Kirk
For reasons from which I'll not shirk
Your charms, on me, will never work
I just don't like you, Captain Kirk.

You're not a patch on Captain P
His baldness does strange things to me
He sends me wobbly at the knee
I'm rather fond of Captain P.

I like young Sisko with the beard
He's far more handsome than I feared
He wines and dines whilst you just leered
I like young Sisko with his beard.

You're not as good as Janeaway
She's smarter than you any day
You try it on with her, you'll pay
She lifts a wicked knee they say.

I like the others Captain Jim
I like them fat, I like them thin
But something in you makes me grim
I just don't like you, Captain Jim.

I like your friends upon your ship
I dribble Spock's name from my lip
His slender eyebrows make me flip
I love his sexy Vulcan grip

I know you had a boyish smile
It worked on women all the while
You bent the rules with brains and guile
You made the Klingons run a mile

I've tried to like you, Captain Kirk
But nothing ever seems to work
I hate your style, despise your smirk
I do not like you, Captain Kirk.

 

(Thank you!)