Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Podcast #282: Lighting Up Leicester
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Feb 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller review the 2013 Big Finish Doctor Who 50th anniversary story ‘The Light at the End’, discuss their visit to the Doctor Who convention ‘Science of the Time Lords’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #210: Babylon 5 – The Wheel of Fire
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 04 Feb 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, bargaining, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘The Wheel of Fire’, and spout our usual nonsense! G’Kar has become a cult, Delenn has a parasite and Lochley finally does something. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us to […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #281: Ruler of Swindon (or maybe Sweden?)
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 28 Jan 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss our Top Ten 2017 Films, review the 2017 Big Finish Doctor Who boxset ‘The New Adventures of Bernice Summerfield, Vol. 4 – Ruler of the Universe’, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #209: Doctor Who – The Eaters of Light
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 21 Jan 2018 10:55

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, consuming, in front of the 2017 Doctor Who S10 episode, ‘The Eaters of Light’, and spout our usual nonsense! Bill has fallen down a hole (again), Nardole is getting inked up and Kar is fending off a demon. But enough of their problems, please […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #280: Welcome to the Annual Predictability
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 14 Jan 2018 09:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler, the Real Keith Dunn and Scott Fuller discuss Capaldi’s best Doctor Who bits, review the film Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, come up with our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams, and Fears for 2018, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2017, find some general news, […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #208: Babylon 5 – The Fall of Centauri Prime
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 07 Jan 2018 10:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, coronated, in front of the Season 5 Babylon 5 episode ‘The Fall of Centauri Prime’, and spout our usual nonsense! Mollari has a fetching new outfit that he doesn’t want, Delenn and Lennier are wrecked and Vir suddenly has a large supply of Ferrero […]

Website works best with

Firefox Download Button

Google Chrome

Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict

The Cre'at Club

The Doctor's Head Goes for a Roll

Shattering the mind of Adam J Purcell


This is the sad story of the Doctor's Head.

The trouble was that the Doctor's Head just could not help having accidents.

It all started one bright summer morning when the Doctor's TARDIS materialised in a forest, called Oxley Woods, somewhere in the Home Counties. Before he knew what had happened a local lumberjack mistook his wooden post-regenerative acting and chopped off his head!

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Lumberjack Attack!

CHOP!

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Flying Head!

The Doctor's Head said a lot of naughty words as it bounced away. Luckily for the Doctor's Body he was still within the first 15 hours of his forced regeneration, so he fell back into his TARDIS and grew a new head and the TARDIS disappeared into the past.

Feeling abandoned and suddenly sad that he was being replaced, the Doctor's Head rolled off to find a new friend. He rolled and he rolled but all the animals he met in the forest ran away, afraid of him. He couldn't even rub the back of his neck in frustration.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Bush Peeping

One cold morning, after living rough in the forest for a time, the Doctor's Head came across a car parked by the side of a road through the forest. Thinking on his feet, actually his neck, he headbutted the passenger window in and hid under the seat. When the owner returned to find his smashed window he drove home in a huff, not knowing he had a stowaway.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Criminal Damage

At last, thought the Doctor's Head, somebody new who could be his friend. He couldn't reveal himself to the driver now, though, the driver would be angy with him for smashing the window. The Doctor's Head had a plan. As the car owner grumpilly walked up to his front door the Doctor's Head followed. Just before he got to the door the driver sensed something was following and looked around. The Doctor's Head quickly bounced behind a dustbin for cover.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Bin Diving

The Doctor's Head had made it! He wasn't spotted, this time. When the owner was about to close his front door the Doctor's Head quickly rolled past his feet, luckily without being noticed.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Sneaky Head

The first hiding place the Doctor's Head tried was the loft. Every now and then he'd peek down to see if the owner, who he had now heard was called Adam, had calmed down. Until then they couldn't be friends, thought the Doctor's Head.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Loft Squatter

But it was cold and lonely in the loft so the Doctor's Head decided to hide under the bed instead. It was warmer under the bed but the fluff made his nose itch.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Bed Head

Then, one night after Adam went to sleep, the Doctor's Head went for a roll to see more of the house. It was then he discovered some toys wandering around.

"Hello" said the Doctor's Head

At first the toys were afraid of him, they had been terrified of another toy, and ran away. After a few nights they began to trust the Doctor's Head a little and didn't run away. Two of them introduced themselves.

"Er, hello, I'm Velma", said Velma.

"I'm the evil vampire Willow", said the slightly naughty vampire Willow.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Willow and Velma

Before the Doctor's Head could party with his new found friends the dastardly Davros trundled up. Ever since Mr Dalek went missing the toys had enjoyed a peaceful life, without once being exterminated again. Unfortunately Davros quickly arrived, looking for Mr Dalek. Now Davros scares the poor toys with his terrifying shouts and wild hand waving. Both Velma and Willow ran off in fear.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - The Dastardly Davros

The Doctor's Head knew what to do! A bit of Venusian Aikido would do the trick. Then the Doctor's Head remembered he had no arms or legs. Another idea came to him. Sot'm Aikido! With a shout of 'Hai!' the Doctor's Head put on his fiercest Sot'm Gurn.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - The Sot'm Gurn

And then performed the best Sot'm Headbutt he could muster.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - The Sot'm Headbutt

Little Davros fell to the ground, down and out.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - Davros, Down and Out

Velma and Willow rushed back to thank the Doctor's Head, he had saved them! The Doctor's Head felt happy for the first time in ages.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - The Worship

In the morning, after a night of the Doctor's Head's limbless debauchery, Adam found the Doctor's Head laying on the floor. That's odd, he thought. Suddenly thinking of a good use for it, Adam stuck the Doctor's Head on a pike in the corner of the room. That should scare off any intruders, Adam thought.

The Doctor's Head goes for a Roll - The Doctor's Head on a Pike

 

So you see the story of The Doctor's Head is a sad story indeed. If you ever lose your body you know what to do, don't you?

That's right, keep away from deranged members of the Staggering Stories team and you won't suffer the same fate as the Doctor's Head.

You'll remember that the next time you are decapitated, won't you?

Good!