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Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #219: Doctor Who – Rosa
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 09 Dec 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, segregated, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode, ‘Rosa’, and spout our usual nonsense! Ryan is feeling the sting of history, Graham doesn’t want to be there and the Doctor cannot stop this injustice. But enough of their problems, please sit down with […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #303: The Louboutin Finders
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 02 Dec 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn discuss two Doctor Who stories: Kerblam! and The Witchfinders, give a 30 Second Recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:42 — Welcome! 02:16 – News: 02:26 — Doctor […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #218: Doctor Who – The Ghost Monument
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 25 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, trekking, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who episode ‘The Ghost Monument’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor is searching for her baby, Ryan is screaming like a little girl and Epzo is sleeping a lot. But enough of their problems, please sit […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #302: A Villain Conundrum?
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 18 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith and the Real Keith Dunn discuss two Doctor Who stories: The Tsuranga Conundrum and Demons of the Punjab, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:39 — Welcome! 01:50 – News: 01:59 — Doctor Who: Paternoster Gang to be […]


Staggering Stories Commentary #217: Doctor Who – The Woman Who Fell to Earth
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 11 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, regenerated, in front of the 2018 Doctor Who premiere episode, ‘The Woman Who Fell to Earth’, and spout our usual nonsense! The Doctor cannot remember her own name, Ryan launches a bike and Tim Shaw gets a faceful of salad. But enough of their […]


Staggering Stories Podcast #301: A Whittaker Triple
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 04 Nov 2018 08:00

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Jean Riddler and Keith Dunn discuss three Doctor Who stories: The Ghost Monument, Rosa and Arachnids in the UK, play a game, give a 30 Second Recommendation, find some general news, and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 01:09 — Welcome! 02:31 – […]

The Triangle: Eternity War Logo

K'Retalra Mission 2: Retribution

Reports plucked from SubSpace By Keith Dunn


Restarc forever undefeated

“I grow bored with patrol. I miss the sound of battle and the smell of blood in my nostrils.”

The mess hall was in the chaos that was shift change aboard the I.K.V Hegh qaD. The command crew of I.K.V ghop ta’ voDelh were grouped around there Captain listing to his tales of blood, honour and occasional whoa. 1st officer Dorff leaned foreword “Don’t trouble your self my lord we will be given a new assignment soon”

K’Rontep glared at Dorff and muttered something. At this point his communicator rasped. K’Rontep slapped his upper arm. “nuqneH”

“Your wanted by the General”

K’Rontep made a fist in the air “At last. . . station we leave after the meeting”

 

LT CMDR K’RATALRA TACTICAL COMBAT LOG OF THE I.K.V.ghop ta’ voDleh
124TH DAY IN THE YEAR OF KAHLESS 1000

We are currently preparing to leave for Penchun 2 in the Romulan Star Empire to apprehend Varg El. There is evidence that he was responsible for the Khitomer massacre. There is no one member in the greater houses who would not take this seriously my self included. I have requested all information from the Hegh qaD data library and made my plans

“Well Tactical what combat miracles are you going to revile to us this time” K’Ronteps voice boomed joyfully. K’Ratalra slapped down the Padd “No .Not this time, no miracles, no tricks. A small surgical strike team. Two possible three people. It’s doubtful they will survive “.

He passed the Padd to Krontep “We will implant nanites in to Varg El’s body. Over a period of 24 standard hours they will ensemble a transmitter in his blood stream that will signal the ship for approximately 20 hours during that time you can beam him up. I have already consulted with science, engineering and medical about the violability of this plan”.

He nodded to the relevant people around the table “I have already made contact with Imperial Intelligence about Varg El movements and have requested equipment with the necessary modification that we will need. I also intend to be among the party that implants the nanites”. As K’Ratalra finished he was looking the captain stare in the eye.

“Tell Me, “ boomed K’Rontep “Sometimes you seam to think like a Cardassian, there is no taint to your bloodline is there?”

K’Ratalra’s hand rested lightly on his combat blade “My first commanding officer was a Human fission named Krass. He torte me everything he know”

K’Rontep snorted relaxing the atmosphere “That would explain it they are almost just as bad, so converted they would get dizzy walking in a strait line. Station we leave when Tactical’s supplies are a board . . . Tactical stay awhile.”

As the others filed out K’Rontep walked over to the replicater “Computer 2 goblets of blood wine privet stock” He passed one to K’Ratalra

“Tactical. . . K’Ratalra you seam determined driven explain”

K’Ratalra stood, took a deep draft of the blood wine to collect his toughest. “There are many in the Empire that took Khitimer personally. But house Reshtarc invested heavily both politically and with men and equipment. The consequences of the massacre were a disaster’s. The house lost face, many of its members dishonoured. Every member swore vengeance on those responsible.”

 

TACTICAL LOG OF THE I.K.V. ghop ta’ voDleh
124TH DAY OF THE YEAR OF KAHLESS 1000

A one shot hyper spray has been implanted in a combination of hands and glove. Reservations have been made in rooms where Imperial Intelligence can contact us. We are currently on coarse to Penchun II in a Yeriden stock light freighter modified by the I.I. My 2 acquaintances on this voyage are Kruop a battle-hardened warrior of many seasons. A grizzled man with grey, almost white hair. Lerkshor a woman of firebrand temper and reputation. A voluptuous female with red flame hair. We are going undercover posing as Mackernite traders (A Klingon on a Romulan world will be conspicuous enough. One in Imperial uniform would have alert beacons flashing on Romulus.)

The ground vehicle surged forward with Kruop at the wheel “13 hours 13 Kurst hours those pointy eared freaks kept us there by fek’lers hoof. . ..”

“Hold that anger Kruop. Time will come to release it”

K’Ratalra leaned back and consulted a small costume built tricorder. He then nodded in satisfaction” Scan revels no audio/visual bugs but we do have one tracer /locator we are being followed” He tucked the device away” They have will compromised the hotel room by now” He turned to Lerkshor “Is the slow Jammer primed “

She gave a sign of affirmation.

“What we need now is some way to get in to the room and disable the bugs there before they relies.”

Lerkshor cast her eye appraisingly over K’Ratalra’s form “I do have a vague plan”

 

The door exploded open with a forceful kick and 2 bodies fell through, arms and legs locked around each other. The sounds of animal passion reverberated around the room. Belt and leather straps were loosened then ripped off. The mock combat, passion almost fight took them to every confer of the room.

They both hesitated and looked down their chests heaving from there exertions. On Lerkshors belt was a thin tube with 3 glowing lights on. The slow jammer was fully active. K’Ratalra (visible trying to control him self) checked the small screen of the tricorder which now had all the positions of the bugs on them “Jammer is at Max operating efficiency,” Lerkshor reported

“Did you enjoy that?”. Kroup lent in the door way a lavishes grin plastid on his grizzled features. K’Ratalra took a deep carmine breath (mainly because Lerkshor was beading over in front of him to retrieve her discarded garments and was revelling interesting parts of her partially clothed body) ”Search the room for double I’S optical chips”.

It took them 2 minuets to revel the 2 data taped to the under side of a draw. K’Ratalra plugged one in to the tricorder and spoke in to it” Code name Phelps “

The screen activated and the mission brief started. “Good evening Mr Phelps”. Kroup gave K’Ratalra a quizzical look “Coded response!”. Replied K’Ratalra.

“The mission you have chosen to accept is the apprehension of this man” A mans face papered on the screen. He was tall but stocky looking Romulan with a light scattering of grey on the temples. “Sub commander Varg El. Details of his were about, movements are on the other chip, Along with details and planes of his home, office and replimat/ food hall that he frequents .No contact between you or your party and any Imperial Intelligence operatives on planet will be allowed. You are Klingons on a Romulan world; you are being watched if not by the Talshayar then by civilian authorities. You are on your own. If you and any of your team members are captured or killed the Imperial Klingon Empire will disavow all knowledge. . . This chip will self-destruct in 5 seconds . . . Qap’la! ! “

K’Retalra removed the chip just as it began to bubble and swell.

He crossed quickly to the replicator and ordered some evil smelling Rom soup, crumbling the remains of the chip into the soup and instructed the replicator to clear every thing away.

 

TACTICAL COMBAT LOG OF THE I.K.V. ghop ta’ voDleh
SUPPLEMENTAL

Our planes are made and set. The sonic emitters are in position Lurkshor assures me that the ultra-sonic emitters are set at a frequency that’s low enough to effect the Roms nerve system nut high enough for them not to here.

The food hall was the continues round of organised chaos, continuos murmuring, muttering and clash of crockery.

Kruop, lurkshor and K’Ratalra served the hall with all the subtleties of a hunting hawk.

The doors swung open and an entourage swept in to the replimat. The Klingon group went in to a form of relaxed activity and spread out amongst the people in the food hall.

Scuffling seamed to break out two different places spontaneously. A Glivingar fruit was herald the length or the hall crossing more scuffles to break out. The harmonies of the sonic began to take affect and could be felt in the tension in the air. The first punch was thrown and complete raw chaos ripped across the food hall. Through the crunching sound of bone and the wet slap of fist hitting stomachs, 3 figures made a b line strait to one group of figures. In a display of concentrated naked aggression. The Klingons and Rom guards met.

The food hall was a mass of pushing struggling figures with only the occasional figures fighting except for one small corner, were every example of controlled textbook naked aggression was put in to practice

 

TACTICAL COMBAT LOG OF THE I.K.V.ghop ta’ volDeh
SUPPLEMENTAL

The mission so far has been successful. The nanites have been implanted. We now have 24 hours for K’Rontep to pick up Varg El. Now my only problem is how to get my team out of here (despite my earlier statement that the team were disposable I will not wait for death in some Rom prison.)

“The prisoner has a power source located in the left shoulder elbow and hand “.

Kruop was grabbed and thrown against the wall by3 Romulan guards “The power sources is in the form of an artificial limb you pointed eared Mek’dar“. Kroup raised his hands with an angry contemptuous gesture.

“What are we to be charged with “K’Ratalra inquired???

“Well what’ve you got, incitement to riot, causing an affray, public nuisance, grievous bodily harm, violent insurrection, attempted murder. I, didn’t leave any thing out? Throw them in the cells and forget where you put the entry coder! !

 

“Klingon scum!! Where is he! “The Romulam commandant stood at the entrance of the cell, hands on hips glaring around him “Ho... And who would that be“Replied K’Ratalra from his position relaxing on the cell floor.

“Get up you smooth headed basted” The commandant aimed a kick in K’Ratalra’s direction.

K’Ratalra grabbed the foot and twisted, the commandant screamed. Two guards that were standing out side the cell leaped forward with electro prods and proceeded to beat K’Ratalra. Kroup and Lurkshor rushed to his defence. After much scuffling the Romulans managed to extract themselves from the cell. “We have found remains of sonic devices. We have also found the remains of some form of injection device. WHAT IS IT FOR! !”

The commandant tried a new track; his voce became silky “The Talshair warbird Rakis is on its way here. It is less than 24 hours away. Tell me what I want to know and it will go easier for you “. He was met with a stony silence. The Commandant waited a few minutes more then left in disgust.

K’Ratalra turned to lurkshor and Kruop “I think it was time we were leaving”

Kruop grinned savagely, gripped the upper part of his left arm, twisted it and then jerked with all his strength. The arm came away from the shoulder joint with a slight metallic implosion of air. Inverting the arm he poured out a comm badge, energy packs, an assortment of probes and a laser scalpel. While K’Ratalra removed facings off of buckles and badges and gave them to Lurkshor to combine with her own items and the energy packs. K’Ratalra grabbed the laser scalpel and crossed to the door. Fortunately it was 5cm plate that slides down from the ceiling. Quickly he inscribed a large arch in the plate with the laser. One savage kick opened the door. Revealing one startled Romulan guard, one quick slash with the laser dispatched the guard. Relieving him of his disrupter rifle K’Ratalra took up position in the corridor.

 

TACTICAL LOG SUPPLEMENTAL

We have broken loose of our confinement and are at the moment attempting to get out of the security building and off planet.

“That way is blocked off”. Lurksor shouted K’Ratalra stooped firing “Kruop covering fire .New door coming up.”

The sound of disruptive energy seamed to step up a notch. K’Ratalra inscribed a large circle near the floor with the laz scalpel and gave the wall a hefty kick. At that point a smooth hand sized globe bounced down the corridor. With a yelp of warning K’Ratalra grabbed Lerkshor (who was giving covering fire) and throw her through the hole. There was a searing green flash with a force to it that tossed K’Ratalra through the hole and Kruop down the corridor.

With blood running from a gash in her head Lurkshor fired blind in to the spreading clouds of smoke and debris. K’Ratalra lurched up right and pulled Kruop fully into the room. Lavender blood frothed about his lips and 5cm of a metal spar was sticking out from between his ribs. K’Ratalra rested him against an inner wall and then scrabbled about in the debris for his disrupter to return fire. With a slow grown of pain that ended in a liquid cough Kruop awoke “Kruop, status” K’Ratalra inquired.

“It appears that my part in this saga is almost over”.

“Lurkshor where are we “Shouted K’ratlra!

”In an office near the outer wall”.

He tossed her the laz scalpel. She activated it and set to work. K’Ratalra turned back to Kruop. ”It would be best “Kruop winced with a lopsided grin “If some one stayed behind to give you covering fire “.

K’Ratalra barked a laugh and passed over a disrupter rifle that was recently liberated from a guard who didn’t need it any more “Die well.” Kruop tried to contain another liquid cough “I don’t intend to die alone”’

“I’ve reached the outer wall, “ Lerkshor shouted back. K’Ratalra turned to go “Cmdr thank you for giving me the honour of finishing my life in battle”.

From her place by the newly created door in the wall Lurkshor spoke we shall make shore your tale is told throughout the empire .I shall sing the tales my self”

K’Ratalra turned back one last time. “QUP’LA!! “

K’Ratalra and Lurkshor left the building.

As they emerged K’Ratalra taped his comm badge “Computer all specified ground side equipment code word shadow lord effective immediately “. He turned to Lurkshor “Let’s liberate a vehicle and get to the space port. From inside the building came the repeated sound of disrupter fire. . .

 

TACTICAL LOG SUPPLEMENTAL

Via the ships computer we have removed all evidence that could implicate Imperial intelligence ether through explosive charge for larger pieces or pockets of nucleic acid for the smaller pieces. Now the Romulans have nothing to trace.

We have also taken charge of a ground car.

They were parked just off the space port observing the activity.” They seam to be on some form of security alert “ Lerkshor observed, “We’re going to need a diversion “. “If memory serves and the floor planes were correct there was a military strip on the far side of the port. Science vessels, scout ships” By way of affirmation K’Ratalra started the vehicle and drove off.

The emerald green of the ships hull could be seen in the distance, if slightly distorted by the force barrier. K’Ratalra slapped his comm badge “Computer code word Fek’ler effective immediately” With a roar of strained engines the light freighter rose skyward and then hesitated as if to orientate it self. It was followed almost immediately by small arms disrupter fire from various points around the port. The ship seamed to gather itself and then shot into the distance under 1/3 impulse.

While this was going on. A weight was placed on the accelerator and the steering was locked off, the ground car was driven straight at the barrier. Just as it hit Lurkshor and K’Ratalra fired disrupter beams into the cars fuel tank. The resulting explosion caused the field to flux and spark but not collapse. But it did weaken it enough for the two Klingons to dive through. They lay on the other side of the barrier; their bodies a mass of tingles not a part of them didn’t ache. They picked them selves up and at first staggered but as feelings came back ran at full tilt towards the stationary scout ships.

Disrupter beams splashed on the hull around the open hatch and around Lukshor as she climbed aboard. K’Ratalra gave covering fire from lower down the hatch. She hurried over to the main computer console, inserted an ID chip and pressed a disembodied hand against a panel. With a burble all the panels came on line. Closing the hatch K’Ratalra took the helm position. “This may get a bit bumpy I haven’t taken one of these up to often “.

Lurkshor looked over at him “How often”

“About 8 times on simulation “

“And for real”.

“Once “.

With concern creeping in to her voice, “And when was that “.

K’Ratalra checked the readouts “In about 35. 12 seconds. Hold on to some thing were going up cold”. With a growling roar the scout ship shot sky wards at full impulse.

 

“Rakis to unauthorised scout. Stand down your shields and prepare to be boarded”.

The emerald green ship of the Romulan warbird dominated the veiwscreen. The lime green lines of a tractor beam were already stretching out for them. K’Rartalra sent the ship through some stomach churning twists but it only prolonged the inevitable. All the time the Warbird kept taking random pot shots to discourage them, whit only one or two disrupters. Lerkshor kept a steady count down of shield strength. “Tractor beam has locked on”. K’Ratalra stared at the instrument panels seeking inspiration “Is the beam mono or multi polar “.

“The former, mono”

“Lerkshor tie the sensor and warp drive in to the computer. We need to go to warp as soon as that beam is broken “ K’Ratalra began rapidly tapping the panel in front of him “Computer stand by to reverse trigger the thrusters and go to full impulse at my command. Lurkshor give me one full spread of torpedoes targeted at the tractor housing and then put all power in to shields at my command”.

There came discrete bleeping then Lerkshor nodded that she was ready “Action”.

There was the hideous sound of over stressed electronics plus the multiple thuds of locking torpedoes as the scout flipped over on its own axis. The torpedo would be dragged back to the tractor source while the ship used the momentum to veer off.

There was a brief impression of striking green blur as the scout shot through the centre of the double hull and in to the star lines of warp speed.

 

“Commander message coming in from the Tal shair Warbird Rakis”. The commander turned to face the centurion and with a nuance in his voice, “Ho yes and what would the god hood have to say to us mere mortals “.

“We are ordered to apprehend a scout that blasted its way out of Pascal II. It’s reported heading in this direction. There is a list of probable co-ordinates”.

The commander faced his chair forward again “Calovis input the first co-ordinates maximum speed”.

 

“AS far as I can tell the E.R.C. capacitors have fused. We aren’t going any were until they’re freed. That means some one going out there to do it by hand.” Lerkshor was in the middle of damage reports. K’Ratalra’s manoeuvre didn’t come without a price. He gave a noncommittal grunt then leaned over to check the nav panel. “Were some where near the Briode nebula its neutral space.” Suddenly a whole range of proximity alert signals went off “we’ve got a ship coming in

“K’Ratalra’s head snapped up “Type and class?”

“Romulan nova class”

“Shields up prime weapons.”

“Renegade vessel this is Romulan starship Atradiss you will power down all shields and weapons and stand by to be boarded failure to respond will be met with lethal force”.

“2/4 impulse fire all weapons”

The battle was destined to be short and one sided. “Shield are down, Disrupters are off line, 3 torpedoes left, life support is failing” K’Ratalra came to a decision “Overload the engines I’m setting a collision course”.

With almost a scream lerkshor cried “Bird of pray de-cloaking its the ghop ta’ voDleH”.

 

The bird flew over the top of the scout giving a strafing run at the nova .The Nova traded a few shots with the bird but concentrated fire at the scout which disintegrated in to a cloud of luminous gas. The bird cloaked.

K’Rontep leaned forward in his chair “First officer!! Did we get them “?

K’Ratalra voice filtered through the comm. system “They’re alive just a bit battered”

 

“Centurion inform the Tal shair that we were unable to capture their prisoner but they didn’t get away they have been terminated. Set course for patrol”

“The door slammed open and Krop stood there his mek’leths smeared green with Rom blood. He was like a hero from the ancient Sagas. Only now was the Romulan commandant beginning to realise how badly he underestimated us “.

The mess hall of the ghop ta’ voDleH was crowded with people. Two tables were pushed together. Standing on them was K’Ratalra and lurkshor. Reciting the great tale of the last battle of Kruop against the tyrannical Romulans of Pascal II. Their own parts were played down in favour of full glory going to Kruop as was all just and right. How Kruop managed to smuggle in a Bat’leth 2 Mek’leths and assorted daggers was glossed over. Any dissenters was shouted down by the audience (or headbutted into submission by Lurkshor.) They mimed the battles fighting with bat’leths but not hitting. They were supplied with food and blood wine from K’Rontep whenever they had the chance.

“ With a savage roar we rushed the crowed of Romulans. Soon the ground was awash with blood. 20, 30 Romulans died we didn’t think it too many”.

 

THE END


No hands were harmed during the making of this saga

But 3 bodies were vaporised