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Star Trek: Vulcan's Lament
Written by Karen Dunn

(For those of you who grew up in England in the late seventies/early eighties, this goes quite well to the tune of "I'm Only A Poor Little Sparrow" - please don't tell anyone I know that!)

I'm only a poor little Vulcan
I'm not very good at my trade
My logic is weak
I don't like to speak
My neck pinch is weak, I'm afraid

I thought if I joined up with Starfleet
They'd help me to conquer my fears
But the Academy's glum
I'm missing my mum
And the other boys laugh at my ears.

Last week I went AWOL on Risa
I pick up from ships as they dock
To save on the quarrels
At my lack of morals
I tell all who ask my name's Spock.