To be read in a Peter Jonsey sort of a voice.

Drinking games are, so it has been claimed, fun.

Apparently.

Many a time whenever people have gathered in the presence of fermented hops, barley and yeast, or squashed grapes with the odour of feet, someone has said 'I know, lets play a drinking game'. This is how it normally starts out. It normally finishes with a finite amount of vomit – though during the production of said vomit, the producers may feel that it may well turn out to be an infinite amount – moans and slurred vows to never drink again ever, ever, ever.

One such drinking game is the Staggering Stories' Podcast drinking game.

For this you will need:

A large amount of the alcoholic beverage of your choice.

Friends.

A device to play either MP3s or Ogg Vorbis files – preferably connected to some speakers to avoid everyone having to argue over who gets to wear the headphones and in which order will the others be allowed to crowd around that person in the hope of actually catching a noise that may, possibly be one of the Staggering Stories' Podcast team in full flow.

A bucket – or several buckets depending on how many people are playing the game.

A downloaded copy of one of the Staggering Stories' Podcasts.

These instructions, preferably printed out and laminated so they're wipe clean.

Once you have completed the gathering of the above items, the game can commence. Hit the play button and stand well back...

Take:

• 1 drink every time someone mentions Shatner.
• 1 drink every time Tony uses a Paddy Kingsland music cue.
• 1 drink every time Tony says 'er' or 'um' – be warned, he controls the edit and its likely this particular one may prove tricky to find... it all depends on which podcast you listen to. A podcast that may help in this area has been suggested at the end of this article.
• 2 drinks every time Adam makes a smug innuendo.
• 1 drink every time Crumbly says 'I mean'.
• 1 drink every time Tony tries to turn the topic to Doctor Who.
• 1 drink every time Adam makes a tasteless joke.
• 1 drink every time Crumbly says 'As I say', 'As you say' or 'I say' – or variation thereof.
• 2 drinks every time Tony uses a home made Doctor Who theme tune cue in the stupid belief that someone may be impressed.
• 5 drinks if you hear Keith.
• 2 drinks if there's a letter from George Macfadyan.
• Half a bottle if there's an actual letter from a real person.

Follow these rules whilst listening to any Staggering Stories' Podcast and see how you feel in the morning.

Here is a podcast to try this game out on... good luck and remember... don't throw into the wind...