Social Networks

Associated Links

Recent Blog Entries

Excerpts from the Staggering Stories Blog:


Staggering Stories Commentary #51: Primeval – Series 1, Episode 6
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 29 Jan 2012 14:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, superbatted, in front of ITV’s Primeval Series 1, Episode 6, and spout our usual nonsense! Nick Cutter is feeling time orphaned, Helen’s been up to no good with Stephen, Claudia’s feeling very specifically erased and Captain Ryan’s been a skeleton all along. But enough [...]


Staggering Stories Podcast #124: Holmesian High Jump
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:02

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn talk about Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss’ Sherlock: Series 2, have a retrospective on the year 2011, find some general news and a variety of other stuff, specifically: 00:00 – Intro and theme tune. 00:59 — Welcome! 01:34 – News: [...]


Staggering Stories Commentary #50: Doctor Who – The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 15 Jan 2012 10:54

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, caretakered, in front of the 2011 Doctor Who Christmas Special, The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe, and spout our usual nonsense! Cyril’s got oversized specs, Reg is following the light, the King and Queen and very wooden and Amy makes the Doctor moist. [...]


Staggering Stories Podcast #123: The Head, the Predictions and the Cardboard Box
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 08 Jan 2012 14:02

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Fake Keith, Jean Riddler and the Real Keith Dunn talk about the Doctor Who: ‘The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe’, our Predictions, Hopes and Dreams and Fears for 2012, see how wrong we were about our Predictions for 2011, find some general news and a variety of other stuff, specifically: [...]


Mr Dalek and the Twenty Throod of Novemby
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sat, 07 Jan 2012 19:03

This missed Christmas, so let’s instead try to fight off those New Year blues! To this end, we proudly present a new Mr Dalek Audio Adventure on our podcast feed. This exciting story, new to audio, is written by long time Mr Dalek fan, Benjamin F Elliott, and narrated by Siobhan Gallichan in the unique [...]


Staggering Stories Commentary #49: Doctor Who – Boom Town
by Staggering Stories Podcast
Sun, 01 Jan 2012 10:48

Summary: Adam J Purcell, Andy Simpkins and Keith Dunn sit down, unzipped, in front of the 2005 Doctor Who episode, Boom Town, and spout our usual nonsense! Margaret’s battling with bad breath, Mickey’s feeling some short lived character progression and Captain Jack’s a spare wheel. But enough of their problems, please sit down with us [...]

Website works best with

Firefox Download Button

Google Chrome

Valid XHTML 1.0 Strict

Doctor Who Logo

Doctor Who: The Collector

By Gareth Agnew


Earth Relative Date: 22nd February 2484

Proximity: Class 3 gas giant, Betelgeuse VI

 

With a sudden crackle of energy, the retro-rockets fired, illuminating and sparking the myriad of dust particles that swept from the hull under the rapid deceleration. There was an almost palpable sigh as space-time wobbled, plopped the ship out of hyperspace, and back into normal space for the first time in two centuries. The ship shuddered briefly, then cruised into a gentle orbit above the swirling green atmosphere of Betelgeuse VI.

 

"Not the most comfortable environment," The Collector mused, "but we have everything we need for the operation right here."

He looked across at Sub-Collector Korcula. "How are we for time?" he asked.

"Fine sir. Won't be long now!" replied Korcula cheerfully.

"Very good. Be a good chap and put the kettle on would you? I'm still a bit stiff from all that Light Speed hibernation, and a good cuppa will go down a treat. It'll put me right in the mood."

Korcula shuffled off into the kitchen area at the back of the bridge, humming his favourite tune as he went. The Collector chuckled. "Wrong version." he thought. "We'll educate you soon enough."

 

The Collector got up from his command chair, walked across the bridge, and into the cosy living area. He had to admit, he did like this ship. The designers had done a very good job of creating an ultra-fast, functional starship, sleek, yet comfortable, with just a hint of tat. He especially liked the three ducks flying up the wall. A nice touch.

Before settling down on the sofa, The Collector popped a blank DataPod™ into the Sony Historiographer. "Finally!" he said. "Snoozin' for two hundred years, but we've finally made it."

Korcula came in with the wicker tea tray. A brown teapot, two white teacups, milk, sugar and a glass plate piled high with Jaffa Cakes. "Shall I be mother?" he said. The Collector nodded and Korcula poured the tea.

"By the way, how is the antenna behaving itself?" queried The Collector, fiddling nervously with his spectacles.

"Nothing to worry about. Functioning normally sir." Korcula glanced over his shoulder at the red neon display out on the bridge. "98... 99... 100% aligned. We're ready. Here's your tea."

"Ta!"

 

They settled back, and shuffled nervously on the sofa, trying to get as comfortable as possible. For a few minutes they munched their Jaffa Cakes and sipped their tea in silence.

"Is the Historiographer on pause and ready to go?" asked The Collector.

"Yes sir. All ready."

"Marvellous! Time to turn on then."

"OK. Here we go."

Sub-Collector Korcula picked up the remote from the coffee table, and switched on the monitor in the corner of the room.

 

The static cleared, and a picture formed. The Collector was practically jumping up and down in his seat, his tea sloshing dangerously around in his cup.

"Release the pause!" he cried.

"Pause released. We are recording sir!"

There was a brief announcement, a fade to black, and then with a swoosh, a bright white light leapt up from the bottom of the screen. It swirled upwards and broke apart, whizzing in all directions.

"FANTASTIC! 520 light years from Earth, but we actually did it!" shouted The Collector.

The main title appeared, and faded away. Then, a picture of a mountain appeared.

"1 down, 108 to go" said The Collector, as "The Roof of The World" faded into view.

 


 

References:
www.astro.northwestern.edu/labs/m100/mags.html
www.gallifreyone.org/series/d.htm
www.korcula.net/mpolo/mpolo2.htm