The Triangle: The Buccaneer Mission 2: Escape to Danger!
As recorded by Tony Gallichan
"Qap'laa," roared the Hegh qad,s new executive officer. The Buccaneer blinked and wondered if the TARDIS translation circuits were on the blink.
"Er… Suck what?" he replied. The XO groaned and held his head in his hands. The general had told him about this annoying Time Lord. How the old Klingon warrior had put up with him for almost two months was fast becoming a mystery to him. As a result he had assigned the Buccaneer to the ship's xenobiology department, though he had been on rather good form recently in rescuing the Bajoran attaché, which was why the errant Gallifreyan was standing in the XO's office trying to defend the fact that he had conned the excellent Commander Kronos into taking him on the mission. Normally the XO wouldn't even have bothered with this and left the disciplining to the Xenobiology head.
However, the General had insisted that the Buccaneer be shown that he was working in a military capacity now and as such would have to take orders like anybody else. The Buccaneer, though, had other ideas.
"I'm a two thousand, six hundred and two year old Time Lord. I do not scrub around in dirty labs, trying to get excited about somebody's discovery of a new kind of fungus."
"By Kahless's last fart, you were told about that! It was the supervisor's raktajino that had been there for six days!"
"So you say." muttered the Buccaneer, darkly. "Look, I'm a reasonable demi-god, think about this. I can travel in safety to absolutely anywhere, anytime. I have extensive experience in practically everything and I can speak any language fluently. I see from your records that your looking for a liaison to the Vorlon Ambassador. I've already introduced you to the Deathbringer so how about it?"
The XO thought about this for a while. They needed someone to keep the Vorlon Ambassador entertained and to be honest if the Time Lord took Kosh with him on his travels then so much the better. Kosh gave the XO the creeps. To be frank, he thought, there was simply something not quite right with a walking curtain. As far as he could see this had one great advantage over keeping the Buccaneer in xenobiology. They could send him on long journeys to discover new life forms and new civilisations in the hope that he wouldn't insult them and might just persuade them to join the fight against the accursed Palpatine. You never know, perhaps the smug son of a targ might get himself killed in the process.
Returning from those thoughts, the XO realised that he was smiling.
"Very well, you may apply. Get an application form from the ships stores. Now get out of my office!" he roared.
* WOULD YOU LIKE A DRIED VEGETABLE PRODUCT *
"Get OUT!!!!!!!".